We know in our grief, that we have a huge heart - one that has loved and one that understands the meaning of love.

I think we need to dig deep into our hearts during our bereavement. We need to dig into the depth of our BIG heart - grief can make us shrivel from life, I know that I have felt that way! However, now I think it takes a big person with a big heart to cope with bereavement and use it to make the world a better place.

B = Be understanding that we were lucky to have loved, even if our loved one has been taken from us too early. Lets dig deep into our heart and forgive the loss and the pain. Because the pain has come because of the joy of having loved - many people never get the chance.

I = Instead of fearing love, now that we know the power of love, spend the rest of our lives bringing love to the life of others. We know that loneliness is an awful feeling, we can ensure that our family and friends never feel the pain of feeling alone, by being there for them.

G= Generous. We can either allow the grief to destroy us, or we can allow the grief to create positive change. By being generous to others, we are using our grief in a positive way. I know that my loved one would have wanted something good to come out of his death - I know give my time generously to other widows, terminal ill patients and charitable organisations.

I also know that this community has a BIG heart - you give me hope everyday…thank you x

Death has made me think about life - how the death of a loved one affects you

• They die..you live
• Cuddles disappear but love stays in your heart
• Their presence has gone but the memories live on forever
• They may not be in the house but they will remain in your soul
• Your rock may not be here but your steel will see you through
• Death may bring loss however love brought huge gains
• In death you value life 

Is it just me but does grief make you see the contradictions - after all death parts two people however it brings you closer to the real meaning of love

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When I was young I was the original child that loved fairgrounds and fair rides. There was a ride called The Tunnel of Love. At that age it was exciting, it was fun.

I now understand that the ride was an analogy of real love. Real love is exciting, fun, adventurous….it is a journey that has a start and as all widows and widowers know, an ending. There is light, there is darkness but most of all it is scary.

The tunnel of love…gives you excitement, gives you thrills. The tunnel of love has ups and downs, light and darkness. The Tunnel of Love is still a ride that is worth the investment.

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If you are reading Widows Quest, you know the meaning of heartfelt pain. Pain hurts but the more I think about the real meaning of pain - I think that it is there for a reason.

• It is there because we felt the true meaning of love. Would I have given up the chance to feel love…No. Pain is a sign that I have loved. I am lucky.
• Pain can help us understand more about the world and more about ourselves. Without pain would we learn to be compassionate?
• Pain is not a punishment, I like to think of it as a reminder of what has been so great in my life.
• Pain means that we are alive, that we are feeling, that we are human. If I didn’t feel pain…I would not be capable of all the happy emotions.

We may not like the feeling of our heart aching, of our pain from grief but I know that I would rather that than being void of all emotions.