It is strange, it is just a seat. A seat that Dad has never sat on and yet his spirit is there…he loved looking out to sea, he loved watching the world go by….

On the Sunday I was walking back from the town and I looked up and saw Mum sat on the seat. It was so lovely, you could feel that she felt close to Dad. I sat next to her and just felt the love of Dad there, watching over the two of us and making sure two of his three girls were OK.

I think it is special to have that place, that place to remember, that place to honour the memory of someone who was so dear to all…..

Post from: Widows Quest

earlier this week about songs which are suitable for childrens funerals. I found a website that suggests

Funeral Songs and Memorial Music for a Child’s Service

• My Heart Will Go On – performed by Celine Dion (Sample lyrics – “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on”
• In Dreams - performed by Roy Orbison (Sample lyrics – “In dreams I walk with you. in dreams I talk to you. In dreams youre mine. all of the time were together In dreams, in dreams.”)
• Tears in Heaven- performed by Eric Clapton. This song is very touching, especially as it was written after the death of Eric Clapton’s own young son.
• One Sweet Day- performed by Mariah Carey, featuring Boyz II Men. (Sample lyrics – “And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven, Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way, And I know eventually we’ll be together, One sweet day.”)
• Perhaps Love – performed by John Denver (Sample lyrics – “And even if you lose yourselfAnd don`t know what to do, The memory of love will see you through”

Music Especially Dear for the Memorial of a Baby or Toddler

• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star – available in various forms and lovely played live on piano.
• Jesus Loves Me – a popular children’s hymn.
• All Through the Night – a beautiful old Irish tune with words by Sir Harold Boulton (1859 – 1935) (Sample lyrics – ” Sleep my child and peace attend thee, All through the night. Guardian angels God will send thee, All through the night.”)

Post from: Widows Quest

“While there, we visited one of our family friends…Lucy. Lucy is amazing – 93, immaculately dressed, lives 6 months a year by herself in a caravan on the cliffs at Whitby, and never, ever stops smiling. She loves life and is living proof that a positive mind set keeps you young, and prolongs your life.

They say a positive attitude can add 7 years to your life – well, I am now going to call it the Lucy effect.

After just 10 minutes with Lucy I felt invigorated and felt happier. Wow, now that is a powerful gift you can give someone….imagine the power if Lucy was a leader. No matter what the issue – she is deaf, losing her beloved husband and has a pacemaker – she overcomes it because she is grateful of being alive every minute on this earth. Imagine, no matter what worries you have at work, feeling grateful for the chance to change the world, even in a small way. If you think about it you have this chance everyday you work, everyday you live…..spread the Lucy Effect and make this world a better place!”

Lucy – sleep well, thank you for bringing such sunshine to this world. Say Hi to Dad for me and just know we will miss you, but we will be eternally grateful for having you in our lives. x

Post from: Widows Quest

I was intrigued by his story and asked if he could write some tips for us on how to create a memorial, he was good enough to send me these thoughts

1. Include basic biographical data such as date of birth, date of death, and use the formal full name of the departed in the memorial.

2. Choosing an image is an important aspect of the online memorial. Take time to select one that is appropriate and where they are the only person in the photo. It allows visitors to place a face to the name and gives the memorial a human element that sometimes words can’t do alone.

3. Provide a brief biography highlighting milestones and life events that had great impact on the departed’s life. It does not have to be particularly long, but it should be a good summary containing the key elements of the person’s life.

4. Be personal. Where many newspaper obituaries tend to be have a very formal and almost news like tone and feel to them, an online memorial is an opportunity to be a bit more personal. You should not ignore proper grammar or spelling, but an online memorial does not have to be so rigid as well. Injecting personal anecdotes, humor, and perspective makes the memorial special as it is written by someone who was close to the departed.

5. Share it with others. After you have finished writing the memorial, send it to other family and friends for them to contribute their own thoughts, memories and sympathies.  Co-workers, relatives and friends all had unique relationships with the departed and having them contribute to the memorial often brings out fascinating untold stories which gives a
real well-rounded account of the person’s life.

Post from: Widows Quest

I have found that doing two things have helped me. I helped build a memorial in a garden, one that people could enjoy and reflected his life. For my dad I started blogging and podcasting about his ideas.

Somehow this kept the memories alive, it created a sense that they were still here helping the world as they would want. It took a little time before I could do this, but it also gave me a focus – a reason for living. That reason helped me through the dark days and through the enjoyment people got from them, helped me enjoy life again.

Post from: Widows Quest

I believe that the best way to cope with the holiday season is to prepare ahead of time. Here are some things that I do but would love you all to share how you prepare…maybe we can find a best practice?

• I still buy presents for the people that I have lost, I wrap them up and then take them down to the local hospice. The reason is that I enjoy the buying, I then enjoy the joy they bring to the people I give them to.
• In the next few days, I will write a letter to myself. I will put down how proud I am of how I am coping, of how I will find strength in our love to see me through the holiday. When I have the bad times, I read that letter.
• I ban myself from ever using the word ought or should during the holiday period! The fact is that no matter how much I wish things were different, they will not be. For those around me, it is important that I concentrate on the life and the living rather than the dead and the gone….
• I put aside a time when I can go to his memorial and cry. I may take a friend, I always take a letter and read it out. This is my time to mourn, to allow the feelings to flow. Privately and just pure grief. Because I know there is that time, I can ensure that I can control my emotions during the rest of the time
• I give myself permission to enjoy the holiday and the time with the family. I know that is what he would want, and sometimes you feel guilty. But this is the time of the year when you need to realise more than ever, that you are a human being and as a human being you need some joy to get through the dark days.

Does anyone else do anything to prepare, as a widow or widower, for Christmas?

Post from: Widows Quest

Colin presents Developing A Positive Attitude posted at Positive Attitude Tips Blog, saying, “Everything you need to know about developing a positive attitude.”

dawn presents Entrepreneur … posted at Iowahippiechick, saying, “My positive thoughts, on my firstborn son moving half way across the country, to pursue his dreams & goals.”

Anna Farmery presents Lacking Motivation, Enjoy the Enjoyment posted at The Engaging Brand

David B. Bohl presents Visualization’s Magical Power for Success posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Your mind is capable of affecting change outside of the human body.”

sophielight presents Knowledge posted at Flight of Minerva, saying, “I am writing regularly about my experiences of bereavement but I am not a trained counsellor or expert – my thoughts are my own common-sense observations”

fred xiao presents the law of attraction : practical suggestions on expressing gratitude posted at Easy money attraction, saying, ” Here I share a simple and practical tip on receiving if you want to attract money.”

Jerome Ryan presents Why Giving Yourself Space Is So Important posted at Dating Tips, Fitness Tips, Daily Blog of the TheFitnessPersonals.com.

Chris Edgar presents Going On A Mental Diet posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, ” In this article, I discuss some of the ways excess thinking takes away our ability to fully participate in and enjoy life, and make some suggestions about how to stem the constant stream of thought.”

Fiona King presents Top 100 Wedding Planning Blogs posted at Soul Mating.

Jerome Ryan presents How to Start an Exercise Program posted at Dating Tips, Fitness Tips, Daily Blog of the TheFitnessPersonals.com.

ITAKEOFFTHEMASK presents A Song and a Prayer posted at itakeoffthemask.com.

Peter Murphy presents Easy Ways To Make Friends With A Stranger posted at Communication Skills Power.

Tammy Powell presents An amazing lesson from today?s Wimbleton tennis champion posted at Majestic Tech by an Enlightened Wealth Institute student.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our
carnival submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest

• A Metro Bus rumbles down Delaware Avenue in downtown Buffalo, displaying a full-color portrait of the late Tim Russert, former NBC News Washington bureau chief.

• Two years after a Buffalo nun’s violent death, thousands of people who never knew her still have “I Leave Peaceprints” signs sprouting from their front lawns in memory of the legacy of Sister Karen Klimczak.

• Millions who watched a Super Bowl halftime show in 2002 engaged in a communal grief session when a giant screen scrolled the names of every person killed at the World Trade Center.

I am attending a service this Sunday at my Dad’s local church to place a plaque to honour his memory. I am not sure Dad would totally approve of all the fuss, however he loved the church and I know he would feel that he was “home”. Memorials are a great way of ensuring that the world never forgets our wonderfully loving lost relatives.

Have you created a memorial?

Post from: Widows Quest

“This is for all those who have lost a child, mother, father, brother, or sister due to a violent crime. You are not alone, and you don’t have to suffer alone. If this book can help ease some pain, or just help another to understand that it’s okay to feel what you are feeling, then our work here is done. I hope that the lives of our loved ones will not have been in vain; that this book gives a glimpse into the reality of today’s world; that together, as a society, we can change our Justice System so that our grandchildren will not have to live in fear.”

Post from: Widows Quest

I actually chose to plant a tree and flowers as for me, this was more about celebrating the life. Almost as one life dies, another begins

What are your thoughts? Do you favour more of a memorial, or do you like the tradition of the gravestone?

{istockphoto}

Post from: Widows Quest