Walking in town today, I looked at the wonderful shades of the trees and thought how nature has this fabulous way of defining moods, defining life, defining change….through shades.
Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.
Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

The vibrant reds …read more

I am staring into my garden as I type this post and seeing the first shoots of Spring. As I watch the little buds I keep thinking

How amazing they know just when to come out and be safe from the harsh frosts
How each flower starts as a nervous bud until it feels ready to flower
How although they withstand an element of what nature throws at them, they still need certain elements to flourish – the right amount of light, the right nutrients etc

It just made me think how similar to a widow or widower. We are in many ways those …read more

I often write how walking has helped me with my grief. Just being with nature helps, achieving the goal each day helps, the air on my face helps and also I meet people whilst I am out walking…
But I have just read this article that your Memory is Improved by 20% by Walking. Now I am not sure that some parts of my memory I want back….you know the ones that I mean – the pain, the loss etc but in terms of our future life then walking is a great health protector. It says that the study
“The results showed …read more

Yesterday I was determined not to feel sorry for myself, not to give in to those weekend feelings when I feel lonely and when my feelings seem out of control.
So I volunteered to help my best friend in her garden. Gosh it was hard work and after hours of weeding, digging, mowing, and clearing I felt great…why? Well, it is amazing how physical work gets the right positive chemicals flowing through your brain.
I have never really liked gardening and I think it helps it was not something we would have done together…it didn’t bring back old painful memories, it created …read more

I saws this quote from Anne Frank
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”
Wow, with all Anne Frank had to endure during the war, if she could still think about the beauty around her then that should inspire us to do the same…look around today and see that beauty. That beauty in nature, in smiles, in the architecture, in the play of children, in the sunset, in the sunrise….

I have managed to get into the garden over the last couple for nights – for only 20 minutes but enough to feel the air. I am no gardener but I once out there I have to say I find it really relaxing. I use the time to reflect on the progress I am making….and just use it as my time. It is funny as I look at the plants and I prune them, clear the weeds, replant some I realise   that nature is a mirror for our lives. Times go by, new shoots arrive, others die but the …read more

When I was out walking late yesterday, I looked at the trees and saw the leaves turning brown, starting to fall, flowers beginning to wane. Then I saw the winter shrubbery starting to come out with some of the strongest colours you could possibly imagine.
All of this reminded me that life is eternal, as the time comes for the leaves to fall others take on that life. Much like humans. We may have to “shed” some of our closest friends and lovers, but life is eternal and life remains rich with beauty if we just look with an open heart. …read more