Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.

Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

• The vibrant reds showing the anger and hurt that he has been taken away.
• The dark browns and black of dead leaves showing the finality of death
• The bare branches – showing the sense of loss.
• The light greens which give that sense of hope that spring will come again.
• The  yellows which show a light at the end of the tunnel.

Nature has a wonderful way of showing us a path through grief, nature has a wonderful love which can comfort us….and nature will always show us that in death is life and in life there is death. Nature knows that there is nothing that can stop that eternal circle of life…

Post from: Widows Quest

• How amazing they know just when to come out and be safe from the harsh frosts
• How each flower starts as a nervous bud until it feels ready to flower
• How although they withstand an element of what nature throws at them, they still need certain elements to flourish – the right amount of light, the right nutrients etc

It just made me think how similar to a widow or widower. We are in many ways those brave little buds growing again for a new time in our lives. We can often feel unsure of how to cope, when to reenter the world but at some point we need to trust in the world again. We will never show our true inner beauty unless we brave the world!

And we too in our grief, need nutrients of love, understanding, friendship and even tough love to get us through…they are our nutrients that allow our buds to shine again.

So no matter where you are in the world, no matter the season just take a look at nature today and see the way nature deals with the cycle of life and gradually renews itself……

Post from: Widows Quest

But I have just read this article that your Memory is Improved by 20% by Walking. Now I am not sure that some parts of my memory I want back….you know the ones that I mean – the pain, the loss etc but in terms of our future life then walking is a great health protector. It says that the study

“The results showed that people’s performance on the test improved by almost 20% after wandering amongst the trees. By comparison those subjected to a busy street did not reliably improve on the test.

In the second study participants weren’t even allowed to leave the lab but instead some stared at pictures of natural scenes while others looked at urban environments. The improvements weren’t quite as impressive as the first study, but, once again, the trees and fields beat the roads and lampposts.”

I suppose I am even more interested as Dad died of dementia and as everyone always says I am his double, I am already working on preventing dementia..

Post from: Widows Quest

So I volunteered to help my best friend in her garden. Gosh it was hard work and after hours of weeding, digging, mowing, and clearing I felt great…why? Well, it is amazing how physical work gets the right positive chemicals flowing through your brain.

I have never really liked gardening and I think it helps it was not something we would have done together…it didn’t bring back old painful memories, it created new memories of laughing as my friend and I realised we were getting older as our backs started to ache!

I also think there is a lot to say for getting closer to nature, nature is wonderfully peaceful, nature has that cycle of birth and death, nature has a beauty that can only make you smile.

So my task now is to see if it was gardening that made me smile, or whether it was the company of a good friend…..I hope that in my garden I can find some solace from the grieving.

{iStockphoto}

Post from: Widows Quest

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”

Wow, with all Anne Frank had to endure during the war, if she could still think about the beauty around her then that should inspire us to do the same…look around today and see that beauty. That beauty in nature, in smiles, in the architecture, in the play of children, in the sunset, in the sunrise….

Post from: Widows Quest

 

Post from: Widows Quest

All of this reminded me that life is eternal, as the time comes for the leaves to fall others take on that life. Much like humans. We may have to “shed” some of our closest friends and lovers, but life is eternal and life remains rich with beauty if we just look with an open heart. They may not be the person we loved, but they can bring a different colour to our lives.

Maybe we humans have something to learn from nature- that times change and in order to enjoy the future we need to not hold on to the past but revel in its memory. I will not forget the leaves of the summer, I will not forget the smile on his face…..but I learn to love the reds of the winter, and take comfort in the smiles of others.

Post from: Widows Quest