It started last night, I don’t know why but depression fell over my body. I realised it was coming and yet I just couldn’t motivate myself to stop it from happening.

Depression – that feeling that there is nothing to hold on to, that feeling of being alone, that feeling that you are tired of fighting the feeling…just grabs hold. The worst part is that there is no one there to hold you, to hold you tight and tell you that they believe in you.

I tend to be one of those friends who people tell their problems to, which means that I understand how they are feeling and don’t want to burden them with my feelings. After all the last thing I want to hear is that “You are just having a bad day”, “It will all be OK tomorrow” etc

I am also a person who wants to cope, a person who wants to show the world that I can cope…no matter the financial worries or the feeling of emptiness.

So what can I do? Well the first thing is to write it down – blogging is a great way to accept the feeling. The second is to allow myself to feel that way, most days I fight it, most days I put on the brave face….my heart and brain is just saying “Look I need to recharge”

The final thing for me is to break the silence in the house. I am naturally a bit of a hermit! So even if i feel like getting into my grief bunker, I realise I must keep the human voice present. I put on the radio, I listen to podcasts, I watch the TV…trying to watch the more uplifting items rather than ones which will depress me more.

You know, as widows and widowers we are brave little beings…some days though we need to allow our hearts to be fragile as it doesn’t show weakeness it shows humanity….

Post from: Widows Quest

Whilst looking round the internet I came across legacy locker that I think has the potential to be a great idea. The aim of the site is to provide

“a safe, secure repository for your digital property that lets you grant access to online assets for friends and loved ones in the event of death or disability.”

I particularly liked the section on family and friends which says

“Legacy Locker helps you pass your precious accounts safely and easily to your spouse, children, friends, or other family. You can assign any digital asset to any beneficiary you want, and know that your content will end up in the right hands. Plus, Legacy Letters let you send a special, easily editable message to anyone you know and care about.”

My writings and podcasts on the internet will become my legacy when I pass away. I had never really thought about my digital footprint as part of my legacy I had never thought about how to give access to my friends and family to a part of my life that in many ways remains separate to my real world. In fact when I start to think about my internet use, I realise that as much as it is part of my life….

Is that the same for you?

Post from: Widows Quest

1. I find it hard to socialise so now I give myself another reason – to do good for others. So I visit local hospices etc as a way of getting out, but in an environment where I am helping others deal with grief.
2. I enrolled on a course so that I am meeting people but again it doesn’t feel like socialising but about developing skills.
3. I read a lot more than I used to do, that way I can lose myself in a story or learning something new.
4. I try to keep sound in the house – playing music, playing podcast (You can find my podcast – The Engaging Brand – here.
5. I speak to myself about what is nice about being by myself – the freedom etc so that I start to enjoy it rather than dread it.
6. I telephone people much more, especially elderly relatives that love hearing a friendly voice. Again you are doing others good whilst helping yourself.

I suppose the other thing is acceptance. Lets face facts we are alone, we cannot change that! But what we can do is learn to deal with that as a fact and learn to embrace the change rather than let it eat away at our very being.

Post from: Widows Quest