This week Prince William became the Royal Patron of the Childrens Bereavement Charity and spoke about his grief as a child. I particularly connected to two things that he said.

1) Initially, there is a sense of profound shock and disbelief that this could ever happen to you. Real grief often does not hit home until much later.

2) The theme is “Silence”. The silence that death leaves. The silence of death’s taboo. The silence of listening.

Both of these were true for me. I don’t even think that even now the grief has truly come out – mainly because I don’t allow it. I was always taught the upper lip way and I think that is still within me. I wish that the grief would come out – and this blog is part of the process – but added to the idea of silence that is how I know it is still there.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Widows Quest

“A French firefighter who could hold vital clues suggesting Princess Diana’s death was not an accident has come forward to give evidence at an inquest into how she died.

Christophe Pelat claims to have evidence about the death of a paparazzi photographer James Andanson who was believed to have been driving the mystery car that collided with Diana’s Mercedes before it crashed in a Paris tunnel in 1997.

Three years after the crash, Andanson’s body was found in a burnt-out BMW in the French countryside.

Pelat claims he found Andanson’s charred body and insists the photographer was shot in the head.

“He had a hole in his skull, as if he had been shot with a gun,” Pelat told the Daily Express newspaper”

When I read news like this my heart goes out to Prince William and Harry who continue to grieve for their mother. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be constantly reminded of your mother’s death – and yet I hope they are proud that 10 years on people still care about her, are still engaged with her personality.

What do they say a star never dies….

Post from: Widows Quest

Psychologists call the emotional stages of survivors the Four Phases of Disaster:

1. Heroic Phase: This phase usually occurs directly after the disaster, when heroic actions are taken to help people recover from and/or survive a disaster. The media may be just arriving on the scene or not yet arrived at this phase. I definitely went through this stage – I appeared fine, dealing with everything and the friends who came around. For some reason I felt I had to be strong!
2. Honeymoon Phase: In this phase people draw together to solve problems in an intense showing of community. Media interest is intense during this phase. This phase generally lasts from one week to six months.This represents to me that stage when everyone is ringing and making sure you are alright!

3. Disillusionment Phase: People begin to get a mentality of “everyone for himself” when delays and other issues common with disaster set in. About this time media interest begins to fade and blame is assigned. This phase could extend from two months to one or more years. We have all seen this when the calls drop off and people get tired of your bereavement – this is when I understood who were my true friends

4. Reconstruction Phase: People start to pull together again to get things done, delays in the process continue to garner negative feelings and reactions. The media may revisit the disaster at this time (one-year anniversaries, etc.) I think this is where I am now, trying to rebuild my life and learn to love and live again.

Post from: Widows Quest

I think the press forget that there is a family in mourning, a family that is coming to terms with a sudden death and a family in grief. This kind of bereavement reminds me of how Prince William and Harry in the UK have had to cope with the   loss of their mother in the spotlight of the press. With all these people I think we should admire their courage and their strength of character that has seen them through – I am not sure I could have done it so well.

Post from: Widows Quest