Widows Quest » relax http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest Redefine Yourself and Rediscover Life after a Loss Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:57:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Relax to Ease The Fear http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/relax-to-ease-the-fear/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/relax-to-ease-the-fear/#comments Thu, 29 May 2008 11:12:35 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/relax-to-ease-the-fear/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> As you know this week I have been struggling, struggling to face life ahead. The depression has been strange it has been more about a total lack of enjoyment of life……a lack of energy to face the reality. Yesterday, a friend had a free day so we went to the pictures to see the new Sex and The City movie, had lunch and then went to the gym. It was great, it stopped me from thinking about the darkness and allowed me to relax.

I can’t say that the depression is over – I am still thinking of going to the doctor – but I do have more energy today. It goes back to something that we say a lot about grief. A smile, a laugh may seem small….but how it helps your mindset.

I would encourage anyone who is feeling like me to take the plunge and arrange a day when you just relax. It is not the solution but it eases the pain and helps your heart to recover.

A learning from the movie is that love is complicated, love hurts whether you are with someone, lostheartinsand.jpg someone or by yourself.

Love is wonderful, love is awful…..love is simple, love is complicated….however, love is what makes the world go round :)  

{iStockphoto}

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]]> http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/relax-to-ease-the-fear/feed/ 1 A Walk A Day Keeps the Depression at Bay http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/a-walk-a-day-keeps-the-depression-at-bay/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/a-walk-a-day-keeps-the-depression-at-bay/#comments Mon, 12 May 2008 18:57:31 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/a-walk-a-day-keeps-the-depression-at-bay/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> The last couple of weeks have been hard, very hard. My health has not been great and when that happens, depression seems to descend over me. It just shows how important our health is, in the grief recovery process.

The last couple of days I have forced myself to get out into the sunshine. I have walked for  countryside.JPG about 5 miles each day. Although I live on the edge of a city, I am fortunate to live near a canal and also on the edge of some wonderful countryside.

During those walks I have put my iPod on, played my favourite music and watched the natural world around me. I have seen the lambs bounding across the fields with joy, and smiled.

Walking has done 3 things

  1. It has made me get out of the house, which is full of memories and see that life goes on.
  2. It has got my heart pumping and made me feel healthier and more alive.
  3. It has relaxed me and helped me put life into perspective.

Sometimes life can be so frantic we  just need some space to relax, think and  reenergise ourselves. I now know that a walk a day keeps the depression at bay…. if you are feeling down, try walking in the fresh air and feeling that heart beat inside of you.

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]]> http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/a-walk-a-day-keeps-the-depression-at-bay/feed/ 3 Facing the World Through Grief http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/facing-the-world-through-grief/ http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/facing-the-world-through-grief/#comments Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:35:01 +0000 Anna Farmery http://www.widowsquest.com/facing-the-world-through-grief/ Post from: Widows Quest

]]> It is my best friends birthday this week, tomorrow I am going to a party and although I want to be there, the stronger feeling is that I want to stay in and be by myself.

Grief can make you insular, grief can make you feel guilty about enjoying yourself. Yet it is that company of friends that will help you through the grief cycle. I have been talking to myself saying

  • This is about your friends, not me. They want me to go and they have been so supportive, this is a small way of giving back to our friendship.
  • Grieving does not mean that I can never smile again….a smile will never undermine my love.
  • It is the going out that is the hardest, once in company I will relax and enjoy myselfartistatdoor.jpg
  • Staying in will only feed my self pity….going out will help me to take responsibility for my own happiness.  

Widows often feel more comfortable hiding away, because they don’t have the energy to go out. Remember though it is through interacting with people, that your heart recharges its emotions to help you cope with the pain.

[photo from iStockphoto]

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