Grief should be based on fact in a way. It is based on a factual happening – that person you love has died. Yet, grief is not matter of fact, grief is not an exact science….grief is all the shades of autumn.

Bereavement and that sense of loss stirs emotions which are on a full spectrum of pain, and those leaves I looked at today almost reflected the rainbow of grief.

• The vibrant reds showing the anger and hurt that he has been taken away.
• The dark browns and black of dead leaves showing the finality of death
• The bare branches – showing the sense of loss.
• The light greens which give that sense of hope that spring will come again.
• The  yellows which show a light at the end of the tunnel.

Nature has a wonderful way of showing us a path through grief, nature has a wonderful love which can comfort us….and nature will always show us that in death is life and in life there is death. Nature knows that there is nothing that can stop that eternal circle of life…

Post from: Widows Quest

“You have two choices. You can give up and let people remember you as someone who gave up, who let life slip through their fingers, someone who didn’t think enough of their friends and family to dig deep and stay around to enjoy life together in the future!

Or you can fight, you can find that inner strength to come through the sense of loss. You can live your life remembering this  poem ….

A Song of Living by Amelia Josephine Burr

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.
I have sent up my gladness on wings, to be lost in the blue of the sky.
I have run and leaped with the rain, I have taken the wind to my breast.
My cheek like a drowsy child to the face of the earth I have pressed.
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

I have kissed young Love on the lips, I have heard his song to the end.
I have struck my hand like a seal in the loyal hand of a friend.
I have known the peace of heave; the comfort of work done well.
I have longed for death in the darkness and risen alive out of hell.
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

I give a share of my soul to the world where my course is run.
I know that another shall finish the task I must leave undone.
I know that no flower, nor flint was in vain on the path I trod.
As one looks on a face through a window, through life I have looked on God.
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

It is your choice but I want you to know that we will support, help and hug you all the way through the tunnel of grief. We will hold your hand whilst you move from breathing death to breathing life….we love you, we don’t want you to give up….”

We laugh about the harshness of the poem nowadays, but the harshness was needed at the time. I do care about the friends and family around, I can’t change death but I can change life.

Give up? No. Feel down at times? Yes. But never, never give up….

Post from: Widows Quest

It is strange as I don’t see losing your loved one as failure, however I think it shakes your self confidence. I think you start to doubt everything around you….when you step back that is the wrong thing to do.

• Success is having loved and been loved
• Success is coping with the reality of death and the sense of loss.
• Success is not hiding from the feelings but trying to work through them

Some days I feel that no matter what I do, I will fail. But do you know, if I never try anything then although I will never fail…..I will never succeed or create enjoyment in my life.

Maybe success is seeing that you are human, that doubting yourself, doubting your faith, doubting that happiness can come again. Success is being human with normal human emotions. 

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Post from: Widows Quest

For Michael

My baby died last Thursday.

I don’t know what to do

My heart is lost and lonely

It doesn’t have a clue.

Oh, where are you baby?

Are you missing me, too?

Are you lost inside my dreams now

With my memories and blues?

I look for you on corners.

I see you everywhere

I see you in the birds now

Sailing in the air.

When I look into the sunset

Beyond the trees, and clouds, and sky

I see your face shining brightly

But I’m still asking why.

Why did you have to leave me

With my broken heart?

I don’t know what to do now.

I don’t know where to start.

Mary McNally

March 2007

know there are many of you that would share my thanks to Mary for sending these words to us all and how the words express the sense of loss that we all feel during our bereavement. Thanks Mary x

Post from: Widows Quest