I was speaking to my aunt last night and she was so excited because her son had just received a doctorate. Her voice was sad and happy, because her husband died about 7 years ago and she was upset that he was not here to feel the pride that she was feeling. I asked her “How she coping with the mixed emotions?”
She said she was going to his grave today and was going to talk to him, fill him in on what his son had achieved. She said that although he wasn’t still alive, it didn’t mean she couldn’t talk …read more

The post yesterday about the letter I received from Joan really has brought some great comments, have a read if you are feeling down today. The essence of the responses are that no matter how deep you depressions, no matter how much grief has taken hold, there is hope. If an 87 year old can turn their life around and set new targets after turning to drink to try and die to go to her loved one, then surely we can. Here are 4 reasons that Joan gives me HOPE.
H= Have a list of 3 things that you want to …read more

I received this e-mail and it really did brighten my day, I hope it brightens yours and gives you hope.
“I am 87 years old and have been a widow for 8 months. I had been married for 66 years and know the true feeling of love. When he died I started to drink, at first to get to sleep and then more in the hope that I didn’t wake up. I just wanted to go to him, I couldn’t bare to be apart. Other than the war we had never spent a night apart and I could not face life …read more

A friend of a friend lost her husband a couple of years ago, and one regret was that she had delayed having a child thinking that there would be plenty of time. She decided that this regret was gnawing away at her and that she had to do something to stop the hurt.
So this Christmas she sponsored a child in Africa which I thought was a great way to ease the pain. She said “Now I have the pleassure off seeing happiness in the eyes of another via letters, and I know my husband would have loved it as our …read more

For regular readers of my personal journey through my grief on Widows Quest, you can now find out more about me and also join a community. Just click here and you can post a photo either of you or of your loved one that we can all see.

A new year starts and it is a chance to set some targets for achieving a level of happiness. Here are mine

To keep writing the blog and supporting others through the grief cycle. Together you achieve more.
To launch a podcast of stories that the readers of this blog share to help others to get through their bereavement. I think by sharing our stories we help each other to come to terms with loss and understand that we are not alone.
To be positive, and before I go to bed each night I will write down something that I have done to show …read more

In the UK there was a helicopter crash this week which was returning fathers home to their children for Christmas. How heartbreaking the story is, with children waiting for Dad to come home so they could celebrate Christmas…my heart goes out to the families. One quote referred to 2 boys who ” broke their hearts”
 I want to send out personal wishes to the families and also to anyone else who lost someone dear to over the last few days. It is hard enough losing someone, but during the holiday season it can be harder. One blessing is that hopefully there …read more

I was trying to think of my favourite Christmas to share with you. Well, it was while we were both young and at the start of seeing each other. Both of us wanted to spend Christmas Day with each other but family commitments meant that we couldn’t….Then I got a call in the morning and he said “I can sneak away for a couple of hours…can you? ”
We met at a motorway petrol station! We bought a sandwich and a couple of bottles of coca cola…and sat in the car with a blanket wrapped around us. He put on a tape of …read more

I am just about to go with Mum to the family meal, and we will watch the children be so excited with their presents and their smiles will fill the room with such joy.
Yet, it is incredibly hard to get ready…..something is missing inside, the person I love just isn’t going to be there. Daft as it sounds I spoke to him last night before trying to get to sleep and asked for strength to get through the say…..as I looked at the photo, I could hear him say
 ”Today is not about you or me, it is a day for …read more

Trish,
 Sorry I am late in moderating the comments, hope you will forgive me as I went to pick my mum up for Xmas yesterday. I have just read your comment out to her and her eyes filled up with pain. She knows only too well, how sitting next to the man you love and waiting for his last breath is torment and yet at the same time a relief. Both mum and I are with you, and will be thinking about you….there are few words to say at this time other than whether here in body or not, the love …read more