Widows Quest » soul

Coping with the “Meaning” of Grief

Anna Farmery — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:19:34 +0000

It struck me today how widows and widows are often searching for meaning to their new lives, how they suffer because of that search for real “meaning”…….and I suddenly realised the irony!

To be mean, is to be awful…..when we are searching for that meaning we can often be cruel to our own heart, mind and soul. We take them on a dark path, often depressive of nature in the hope that in the darkest moment we will find something bright…how ironic that the word mean has two such different definitions and yet so both true during the grief cycle.

Maybe we should think of it as in search for loving……maybe that way we can take our mind, body and soul on a happier journey of personal discovery

[istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

Talking about your grief

Anna Farmery — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:41:18 +0000

On a recent blog post Emotional Pain and Hurt, I told the story of how grief overwhelmed me and how I was given a second chance at life. I thought long and hard before I wrote that blog post because that is a private story of my bereavement that I haven’t wanted to tell before…it was too raw, too painful.

I told it because of the widow who wrote to me not knowing how to cope with her loss. I hoped to help her….and yet, in a way I think I helped my own grief. That story has been buried deep in my soul, I had hidden it not from the world but in many ways from me. Yes, it was me that suffered that pain but I almost saw her as a separate person…not actually me – if that makes sense?

Writing that post, has helped me surface those emotions and accept that it WAS me and that those feelings had been real. I write this to say, you know sometimes we keep emotions hidden so deep within our soul, that we become afraid of letting them out. But you know, sometimes letting them out is part of the healing process rather than causing any more pain.

That is true for me and may be true for you. Don’t let the grief fester…let the grief out, let your soul cleanse, let your heart heal.

[istockphoto]

Post from: Widows Quest

Loss vs Gain When Grieving

Anna Farmery — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:29:13 +0000

Loss by definition means that something is missing in your life. It illustrates the gap that is left in your life, in your heart, in your soul. But you know when looking at your new life, remember that no matter what happens there are always counter balances.

Grief can also lead to gains in your life.

You have lost your life partner, yet gained a heart that knows how to love

You have lost the person who gave you the strength to face life, but gained the knowledge that you have that strength inside of you

You have lost the chance to do things together, yet gained the chance of doing some things purely for you.

You have lost part of your “life” yet gained the knowledge that life is short and not to waste a moment.

In loss, in grief….feel the loss but also feel the gain in terms of your own inner strength, your own growth in understanding how special life is…and cherish each moment.

{photo from istockphoto}

Post from: Widows Quest