It is 4 years since the London bombings, a day which I will never forget as two of my friends were in the tragedy. One lived with severe injuries and one died on the bus bomb. My friend who died was a new mum, and her family was devastated. Her wonderful child will never know her mum – tragic.
The worst part was that her body was never found, I remember taking the call to say that they couldn’t say she had died – as no body – just that she was not alive.
A memorial has opened today and it is …read more

As widows and widowers we often want to forget, it is often the replaying of the tragedy that causes our pain and if only we could forget the bad and remember the good. However here are my taking on the idea of forget or should I say Four Get!

Get a notebook and journal your journey through grief so you can track your progress.
Get a diary and plan a social life no matter how small – you deserve to be happy.
Get a few moments to think of a way of keeping their legacy alive as a way of honoring them but …read more

I was lucky that growing up, I never minded exams. For me they were a test of nerve, a test of your knowledge, a test of your mental strength. As the children around me get their latest exam results, I wonder whether grief is the ultimate exam to pass or fail?
E = Emotional strength. Can you understand and learn to live with the new emotions that flow through your body?
X = Cross to bear – how do you cope with being a widow/widower? How do you cope with ticking that box on a form, how do you cope with the …read more

When you suffer a tragedy of the loss of your loved one, the thought of rebuilding your life seems impossible. That is natural. Your life as it stands has been torn apart. However, I know this seems hard but life does go on, life is your life…not part of your life. The chapter may have come to an end but the story is still there to unfold. Here are my thoughts on rebuilding from your grief, I would love to hear your comments
R = Remain hopeful. I know that sounds strange, but hope is a natural energiser of positive steps. …read more

I think learning to love again, or learning to see that loving again is acceptable as a widow or widower after suffering a tragedy is the hardest thing. I remember a quote from Iris Murdoch who said
“We can only learn to love, by loving”
As widows or widowers we could change that to 
“We can only learn to love again, by loving again”
Grief is the end of one chapter of your life. It is not the end of loving. After all death has brought an end to the partnership but it has brought an end to t he love we feel …read more

One of our readers Frank Burns left an in depth comment to the post The Widows Quest Grief Recipe which I wanted to share with you, in case you don’t read all of the comments. (There are some great conversations that may help you by the way!) I want to thank Frank for taking the time and sharing some wonderful words on grief. Here is his comment
“Grieving is all a part of what we’re supposed to do when tragedy strikes. It is a part of our being human that triggers this response.How we cope is not entirely left to us …read more

As widows or widowers we often wonder how we can carry on…and when I find articles that show how people have successfully got their life back on track I love to share as a way of showing that as long as we believe, then we will get through this grief cycle.
I was reading on the This is Swansea website about “a nursing student was devastated by the loss of her husband in a road crash.Showing remarkable courage and fortitude, she overcame her grief and completed her degree course.”
29 year old Joanne Thomas story is described by her personal tutor “Joanne …read more

When we have a loved one taken from us through death, we can so easily become angry with the world. Well I have just heard about a wonderful film about the story of how Susan Retik and Patti Quigley, who were 2 soccer mums turned their tragedy of losing their husbands in the 9/11 bomb attack around.
They struggled to cope with their loss and yet turned their focus from grief, to reaching out to the very country that had trained the terrorists who took their husbands lives: Afghanistan. They turned to empowering Afghan widows.
The new film Beyond Belief tells the …read more

Death is tragic, the loss of a loved one is one of the most painful emotions that anyone can suffer…but do you know what the real tragedy can be?  
I think the real tragedy is when we don’t use our bereavement to grow as a person, when we don’t use the loss of a loved one to think about our life. Our life is precious, we are mourning the loss of someone, we should understand the amazing nature of life…..so to prevent further tragedy we must find a purpose for our life. We need to think about how we want …read more