It is great to see that Widows Quest is helping people. Lynn left a comment on Watching Someone Die that made me think about the comfort this blog brings to me.
C =Creates a sense of belonging
O =Offers different perspectives to grief
M = Meaning – gives me meaning to each day, knowing that writing this blog may help one persons pain or connects me with another widow or widower.
F = Friendship that has no strings just one heart
O = Offers hope for the future
R = Raises my spirits on days when I don’t feel I can live through the pain …read more

There is an ongoing conversation at the blog post Watching Someone Die, which made me think of final acts of love. If any of you have examples let me know – anna@b5media.com, and I will share with everyone. In my comment, I talked about how Dad seemed to wait until after my sister had left the room to die, so he didn’t leave her with the picture of him dying….I believe it was his final act of love for a daughter he knew was not emotionally strong enough to see that final breath.I think there were other acts of love, like..

 Saying he wanted …read more

It has been raining today and as I look out of the window I can see a beautiful rainbow. It made me think….
The rain is like our grief. Our tears flow and flow, our outlook feels dark with no sign of relief.
The rainbow is like our journey. It is a bridge to the future. The grief has caused us to change, it has brought out different emotions, different experiences that has caused us to grow as a human being, just like the array of colours in the sky.
The pot of gold is like our hope. We hope that with time …read more

Based on the feedback from previous posts I think we all struggle with self-worth. Our grief has affected the way we look at ourselves, our confidence has drained away. Well, let’s try and help each other!
Let us think of 3 things that we value about ourselves and maybe pass this post on to friends who can add what they value about you. I will ask Krishna De and  Sempre what they value about themselves and how this blog brings value to them?
I find it hard to think about my value but I would say

I love to look after my family …read more

I wrote yesterday about my isolated feeling over the weekend. I have thought about it overnight and here are my reflections

When you are grieving you shut down your emotions to protect yourself. Maybe what I am feeling is the “numbness” associated with my heart still not being ready to emotionally join the world as yet.
It is OK! My body, my heart has been through shock and an immense amount of pain. I am not ‘weird’, I am completely normal!
It takes time to rejoin the world. When I think how far I have come, I have come a   long way….there …read more

Today I am going to meet up with 4 friends who I have known through all the highs and lows. Friends that are there whatever, friends that just take me as I am. I cannot wait. Normally, I don’t look forward to going out – I don’t like the feeling of being “single” but today is different.
I found myself smiling at the thought of a meet up and a lovely barbecue…no pressure just friends who care, can’t wait. I don’t know what I would have done without my friends over the last months….   

I am a real believer in when you feel down, the best way to feel better is to help others. I like to think about reaching out to touch other people’s hearts to heal my own pain. In a world that seems to be busy, time starved and lacking, in some ways, of human connection – people respond to someone who reaches out to them.
After all we are people that understand pain, understand how someone taking the time to listen, to smile, to talk to us, really helps heal the wounds inside our soul.
So today or tomorrow – …read more

I have been lucky that no deaths within the family has ever caused any rifts. However, I did get a question on how to avoid family upset. Here are my thoughts
F= Family may have all been born from the same gene pool, however they are all human, all different. The world would be a dull place if we were the same – family does not mean you have to agree, but remember family is great support and a great font of love. Try and compromise, try to find a solution that both people can agree to……give a little.
E= Empathasise with …read more

No I am not 50 but I had some great news this weekend that I thought I would share with you. At the start of the year I planned to take control of my weight which had ballooned with the stress of life (and death). I started a blog and podcast called Middle Age Shed and   aimed to lose 56lbs. Well, as of last Saturday I have lost the big 50! I feel so much better. I have moRe energy, my self confidence has gone up and I feel stronger to cope with what is thrown at me.
Last week …read more

I wrote a blog post last week called Taking Control of Our Lives and received this comment from regular commenter Tiffany which further shows how hard the acceptance is but also how important it is to moving forward. I love the last sentence and I think making others smile is a wonderful goal for all of us.
“I have had a hard six months, I lost my fiancé, a friend of mine lost her 26 year old son, and another friend of mine has had two miscarriages, one of which was today (it would have been triplets.) I have always …read more