Often I am glad that I feel invisible but I don’t know about you, but when you are widowed you suddenly feel invisible to the world. After the first few weeks, suddenly the world moves on and yet you are not ready to…Why do I feel invisible?

Because I need to find my own personality again, you are no longer the same person, the one in the couple. You are invisible, because in some way you are invisible to you? 
At home when the tears flow and no one in the world can see the pain I feel. After those first few …read more

Alone is a funny word….it oozes the sense of…well, lone-liness. When you are widowed or suffer a bereavement in the family, you have that painful feeling of being alone.
However, when you think about it, a widow or widower is not alone in the world….they may have lost their partner but that doesn’t mean that you have to be alone. I have even been in relationships when I felt alone!
Key is to understand the difference between losing someone, missing someone and the reality of living in solitude. I know I felt that I didn’t want to see people, didn’t want to …read more

I was speaking with a friend last night who has just found a new love, she was widowed about 4 years ago and had struggled with life after her husbands death. Last night she said something that I thought was worth sharing…
“I suddenly realised that I wasn’t married. When you take you vows you are   married until death us do part. I realised whether I saw myself as married or not…I wasn’t! I know this sounds strange but I knew I still loved him, nothing could change that, I knew nothing would bring him back and finally I accepted …read more

On the news last night was a heart warming story. An 102 year old man called Eric King Turner is emmigrating to New Zealand
“Mr King-Turner said the move had been planned months ahead, although he added: “I have to live from day to day.
“I can’t seriously look past tomorrow morning because at my age people go to bed at night and they don’t wake up in the morning. I’m resigned to that.”
Meanwhile, his wife said she and her husband – who have lived in Hampshire since their marriage 12 years ago – believed they would settle down …read more

One reason that I am asking for entries for a Carnival on Sunday on how to turn your life around, is to highlight that as time goes by, the people around you may start to forget your pain. But that pain never goes away, it eases of course but the feeling of losing someone special NEVER goes away. What we do is learn to cope.
My friends have the date of the anniversary in their diary and we all get together to celebrate his life. Making a note of other people’s days is important so that you can acknowledge their pain and support them through. Maybe a …read more

I don’t know if you found this, but I found food shopping the toughest. Walking through the shop, watching couples, looking at food that I would have previously bought and suddenly buying half the amount. Somehow, I suddenly felt the loneliest person in the world and felt that everybody was looking at me.
Then one day my friend said “Why, don’t you shop on line?” So I did, and I actually found that I enjoyed it as I could browse without feeling as though I wanted to hide. Now I am back shopping, but I make it an event. I normally …read more

I was speaking to someone today who had been disappointed by how people fall away after the initial mourning. She said a wonderful phrase that I thought I would share with you…
 ”People offer help, friends deliver it”
Friendship is a wonderful gift and the love of my friends will remain one of the key memories of a difficult time.

I want to write mission for this blog – a summary of how I want people to act and feel when they read it.
The reason for the blog from my point of view is to show that there are people who understand your grief, your emotions. That there is someone who cares that you do get through this time in your life. Also, ideas and tips that have either worked for me at pulling me through the persoanl crisis, or for friends and family. Somewhere you can come and know that people understand, and hopefully help support you.
I was thinking …read more

Wow, yesterday I asked for your support with a blog carnival this Sunday to act as a way of turning my grief into a positive memory. You have all been fantastic, and I look forward to receiving all the links. Please pass on to anyone you know who may want to contribute – a carnival of sharing and helping others!
 I chose the title of Turning your life around as he was one of the most positive people I have ever known, he always saw the positive in everything. When I honour his memory, I wanted to do something that would …read more

We understand how it feels to not get the chance to say what we really feel. I came across this poem by Stephanie Ineson that brought this home, and show how important it is not to have any regrets. Hope you like it.
Tomorrow – I’ll tell him just what he means,                                                                                                             That living and loving with him is in my dreams                                                                                              Tomorrow – I’ll give a big hug to mum,                                                                                                                    Say a quick thank you for all that she’s done.                                                                                                                                                                       Tomorrow- I’ll call or even drop by, I’ll say “I love you” state all the reasons why.
Tomorrow-I’ll go about getting in touch                                                                                                                    With …read more