I have just updated the support meeting wiki as I can’t make the session tonight. I was so looking forward to speaking to you all, there hasn’t been a call when you haven’t lifted my spirits and given me the courage to carry on the grieving fight. I came home early as I have the onset of flu, shiver – can’t get warm, barking cough and absolutely no energy.
I am sure an early night will suffice and I will be back fighting fit tomorrow….and of course I will rearrange the session.
I just want to give my heartfelt apologies….I so didn’t …read more

Don’t forget about our next online meeting  being  held at 6pm New York time on 16th October. That’s tomorrow!
You can sign up, remember it is free of charge and easy to do!, at the Widows Quest Wiki Page.
It is one hour which I really look forward to as I hear from all of you of how you are coping and in some small way we can try and support each other like only widows and widowers can…..if you haven’t joined before, we would love to hear from you and it really is easy… all you have to do it
1) Go …read more

When you are feeling down or lonely, I don’t know about you but I tend to see the pain in my face. When I look in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window…all I see is an aging woman who I just don’t recognise.
I was trying to think the other day of the positives of getting old….?

Experience to handle life?
Memories to cherish
Ability to help younger people develop and grow
Family and extended family
More comfortable in your own skin

Maybe because it is one of those days! (I need our Widows Quest Support Group Meeting this Friday) but then I thought …read more

Loneliness can be so cruel. The sound of silence can be deafening. I think in grief, silence can be one of the loneliest times. In bereavement I think it is important to give yourself the chance to grieve, to cry, to weep but I also think we must guard against being alone in a silent house.
The silence can be a constant reminder of being on your own, it can be the reminder that you are now a widow or widower. Going out can often feel so alien and so frightening that it may not be an option to start with…I …read more

There is a saying that the first step is the hardest…I sometimes wonder if that is true in the bereavement process?
Why?
Because the first step isn’t often the one that helps start to heal the broken heart…in itself. Of course the first time going out, the first time you meet someone, the first time you go on holiday, the first anniversary are all hard…I don’t dispute that at all. However often the first step is surrounded by friends, often the first step is understood by all as a difficult step for a widow or widower.
But following that you have to start …read more

Over the last few months we have arranged times when we can get together just to talk through how we are feeling, how we are coping with grief…how to cope. The online meetings have been great and so uplifiting. Please remember

There is no charge….it is a group of widows and widowers who just want to cope with life..and death.
The meetings are held on the web so doesn’t matter where you live
No telephone call – just visit the site and you can hear people speak. If you want to speak then you will need a microphone but you can just listen
To …read more

Facing the future as a widow or widower is difficult as you struggle to leave the past behind. Indeed you don’t want to leave the memories. I believe we need to think about
One to lose the desire to live in the past
One to to find a desire to live for the future
It is not easy that is for sure. We must draw on the fact that we have desire when you think about it….because we desire our loved one back in our life. It is not the desire that is missing, it is the ability to use that desire to …read more

Grieving means that we need to find a way of facing our future. Often people refer to letting go of the past and this can feel uncomfortable as a widow or widower. We don’t feel like – or ready to – let go of the memories and love. You can feel in some way guilty of moving on, in some way that the memories are the only thing left and if we give those up…then what?
It dawned on me when having our Widows Support Group, that are we really trying to let go? Or are we trying to let in?
Letting …read more

Grief is hard not only for us but also for those around us. I often get asked what people should do for someone who has lost a family member.
Time and a hug are always great gifts but do you know what I appreciated most? Shopping!
My best friends from childhood came round with a weekly shop, she looked at me and said “I bet it is the last thing on your mind and you need to stay healthy”
Wow, do you know it was wonderful as I couldn’t face shopping – all those people, all those small decisions to make and of …read more

I am excited by our planned phone call on Friday night – 6pm New York time and of course if any other widows and widowers want to join us and talk about how they are coping with grief, about the blog posts which help most with your bereavement or just for support and friendship – then the details are on our Widows Wiki.
Why am I excited?
Because I know you all understand grief, I know that we have shared hopes, shared pains, that we are sharing each others journey through that dark tunnel of pain to that day when we wake …read more