It was Gandhi who made this comment and do you know I feel it is as apt for widows and widowers as it is for people wanting to make societal or political change.
Readers know that I am on a constant roller coaster of emotion…that little old lady called grief manages to shake me to the core every now and then, just to remind me that overcoming a bereavement is hard. So just when it seems easier, just when I seem to be back in control of my own emotions….grief prods me to remind me that it is still there …read more

In grief we can isolate ourselves, in grief we can shut the world out, in grief as widows and widowers we can believe that we never want to fall in love again….
When I was coughing away, by myself this weekend, feeling sorry for myself that there was no one in the house just to look after me….(how old am I!) I started to think about connection. When we enter the world we are physically connected with our mothers…we depended on their nourishment in the womb, we depend on their milk, their support and security throughout our childhood.
When you think about …read more

It always amazes me how the word widows or widowers often provokes an emotional response. You get the touch of the arm, maybe an embarrassed look or the one which I feel cringe worthy….”Oh I am sorry”
I understand the reaction because people feel the pain of loss, they know that bereavement is awful and they also know that there are no words which can take away that sense of loss.
However, when you think about it widowhood has some good signs..

It means you are one of the lucky people in the world who found their true love!
It means that you understand …read more

A final reminder for this month’s online Widows Quest support meeting. This is your chance to speak to other widows and widowers about how to cope with bereavement and that sense of numbness that only loss can make you feel. The session is online and totally free, not even a telephone call required. The session will be held on 9th August at 6pm New York time.
The session always inspires me as I hear from others how they are coping and how they are rebuilding their life. If you want to join in then here are the details

I give you a …read more

I found this poem on a card which was sent to me a few years ago….hope it helps those widows and widowers who are struggling with their grief and loss.
Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.
To …read more

Each week I post articles to help widows and widowers cope with grief and think more positively about the future. Here is this weeks Carnival of Positive Thinking

Suzanne presents Happiness in 7 steps: Step 1 – I am OK as I am posted at Without Dash.

SmallTownSim presents Even when… posted at Joy’s Journey To Wellness, saying, “In the entry titled, “Even when…” The author shares the struggles she faces daily but allows us to witness her determination in dealing with each challenge.”

GP presents You Gotta Get Out of Your Kitchen « Musings from Montana posted at Manely Montana, saying, “Sometimes, …read more

The grief cycle is often talked about and I was talking to someone yesterday about the various stages of grief. During the conversation we started to think that there is also a different way of looking at the bereavement process – the grief position!

Stillness – you are so numb that you cannot move without really thinking about it.
Constant movement – this is when you have to plan the funeral and you are almost in a state of constant movement.
Laying down – when all the calls have stopped and you are on your own, you just lie there and cry.
Curled up …read more

Here are this weeks articles to help widows and widowers through their grief

PaulWill presents Part 1 – The Journey posted at Can Haz Fitness?, saying, “A article about a journey into positivity and changing your life for the better.”

Britannica Blog presents The Curse of the Talking Heads: Where?s Humility and a Sense of Fallibility? posted at Britannica Blog, saying, “As we all take our daily dose of the ceaseless media-borne battle and prattle among liberals and conservatives and their several subsects (their labels beginning with “paleo-“ or “neo-“ or, more often, and depending on which media outlet you favor, some …read more

I write this post not to make everyone miserable! I write this post to show that as much as I try and write in a positive way, as much as I try and write to help widows and widowers…even I …yes little old me have those days when NOTHING seems to matter!
It started last night, I don’t know why but depression fell over my body. I realised it was coming and yet I just couldn’t motivate myself to stop it from happening.
Depression – that feeling that there is nothing to hold on to, that feeling of being alone, that feeling …read more

As widows and widowers I believe forgiveness is a big part of coming through grief

Forgiving yourself. I spent so much time wishing that I had done things differently. That I had prioritised family more than work, not that this was deliberate but I look back wishing that I had enjoyed more time at home rather than feeling tired alot. I realise now that the time has gone, that I did the best that I could, that he worshipped me and loved me for my energy with work.
Forgiving the world for taking him from me. I realise that there is no …read more