They have now taken away Nana’s fluids and we sit and wait….when you think of the long days and nights we spend grieving and often for me even wishing days away…I now look at Nana and think….time is so precious. Time is one thing money can’t buy, time is something that you can never get back.
I am thinking of the special moments we cherish, I am thinking of how important it is that we find a way to cherish our own moments. We may live alone now, we may feel the pain of loneliness, we may think our hearts will …read more

Funny after going 3 nights without sleep or at least only cat naps by Nana’s bed…I still feel Ok. Yet if I only get 6 hrs on a ‘normal’ day I feel tired…when you are with someone so ill, so tired then this energy comes from nowhere. I suppose that it is not then a shock that your body needs time to recover through the grieving process.
The hospital offered us a room. Mum grabbed a few hours each night in there but when you are here, you just want to hold them and let them know they are not alone. …read more

It was Gandhi who made this comment and do you know I feel it is as apt for widows and widowers as it is for people wanting to make societal or political change.
Readers know that I am on a constant roller coaster of emotion…that little old lady called grief manages to shake me to the core every now and then, just to remind me that overcoming a bereavement is hard. So just when it seems easier, just when I seem to be back in control of my own emotions….grief prods me to remind me that it is still there …read more

Oh dear I have slipped today, after such a good week – but hey isn’t that what grieving is all about?
This week is such a bad week for me I need to be in 3 places at once, most days and I am feeling totally out of control. I wish that I didn’t have to balance so many competing things….
When you get out of control, doesn’t it feel so depressing? You start to feel as though no one values YOU, that you seem to spend your life pleasing other people, accommodating other people…but who is there now for YOU? (Widows …read more

Don’t forget about our next online meeting  being  held at 6pm New York time on 16th October. That’s tomorrow!
You can sign up, remember it is free of charge and easy to do!, at the Widows Quest Wiki Page.
It is one hour which I really look forward to as I hear from all of you of how you are coping and in some small way we can try and support each other like only widows and widowers can…..if you haven’t joined before, we would love to hear from you and it really is easy… all you have to do it
1) Go …read more

I receive wonderful emails, many which are too personal to share or you ask not to share. But here is one from Gerrit Hofsink
“After reading your post about music on Widows Quest, I would like to share a song with you. It is called “Still” and you can find it on my website: www.myspace.com/gerrithofsink
It’s the first one on the player. I wrote this song after our daughter had a stillborn son, their first child and our first grandchild.
Kind regards,
Gerrit”
I think you will all enjoy the music as well as the words which are so powerful – Gerrit thank you for sharing …read more

I have really enjoyed our telephone support sessions over the last couple of months. Hearing your voices and your concerns – well it actually makes me feel normal! Just knowing that others have the rollercoaster of emotions helps so much!
Remember there is no cost…not even a telephone cost to these events. I let you know a web address and once there you can hear our voices….but we do need to set a date which is OK for all of us. Obviously we are all over the world so it can be difficult setting a time but if you want to …read more

We have some wonderful people in our Widows Quest community. One of those people is Leslie who has just moved into a new house, you can read her feelings in the comments to Grief Has Made Me Emotional.
I cried when I read her thoughts..why? Because I hate people hurting…I so wish that I had a magic bereavement wand that would take away all our pain.
But it made me think about how we emotionally attach to objects….mmmm…but then is it really the object that we attach to? In Leslie’s case it is a house, with me it is a jumper! But …read more

It always amazes me how the word widows or widowers often provokes an emotional response. You get the touch of the arm, maybe an embarrassed look or the one which I feel cringe worthy….”Oh I am sorry”
I understand the reaction because people feel the pain of loss, they know that bereavement is awful and they also know that there are no words which can take away that sense of loss.
However, when you think about it widowhood has some good signs..

It means you are one of the lucky people in the world who found their true love!
It means that you understand …read more

I wonder when the pain will subside
I wonder when I will feel that I am finally free
Free from the pain I wake with everyday
And stops me from smiling and from being truly me.

I wonder when I will look forward to life
To meeting with friends and enjoying the day
As life goes by, with me surviving not living
And me fighting the sense I have just lost my way

I wonder when I will be able to fall asleep
Peacefully, rather than feeling so low
I wonder when I will be able to say
I love you, I miss you but now I must go

And find a …read more