That Feeling of Emptiness
August 30, 2007 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Loneliness, Guilt & Depression
Today is one of those days, you know the kind I mean. One that just feels as though I am going through the motions, nothing engages me, I don’t want to do anything. These days are tough…in a few minutes I am going to get myself out and go for a walk..by the canal, that always makes me feel better.
Emptiness is such a debilitating feeling – that feeling that you have no focus, no reason for being. That feeling that you are crying inside.
I have just got a pen and written down
- Why life is precious to me…
- What I have achieved over the last few months…
- 3 things that I have to look forward to in the coming weeks….
It is so important to fill that emptiness, to fill that void with positive thoughts….we are in control of how we feel, even when
we think we are not! Our outlook is our choice, today I chose to feel low, now I have chosen to turn that around…..see you after my walk!
My husband died in his sleep on our 24th wedding anniversary at barely 59…I am so sad
so lonely we did everything together…I wish he was still here vs being on the other side..I know at some point I will feel better but I wish it was sooner rather than later
My thoughts go out to you…that longing, that wishing is so hard. I have never lost it, I have only learned to cope with it…learned to ease the pain. Key is remember you cannot change what has happened…what you can change is the future. You can think of how to keep him close via a memorial, via doing something that you had planned to go together etc….He is still in your heart, I know that by coping, by building a new future that would be what he would have wanted…he hated me being sad, he loved it when I was happy…you will find a way, we all do in the end. Keep reading the blog, hopefully I can give you some inspiration
That makes me want to cry and take hope at the same time. My husband passed away only three weeks after we found out he had 8 tumors in his brain and one in his lung. Three weeks went so fast. There wasn’t enough time to say every thing that needed to be said. Now I feel so empty and alone. He was my best friend; the only person I could really talk to. So now I try to be strong for everyone else but inside I’m falling apart. When does this terrible lonliness and emptiness go away?
Lost my husband now 5and half yrs but strange things i found was all friends and relatives ran from me and i normally stay in the house during saturday and sunday go to church and even some church women do not want to be near. Reasons known by themselves until it upset me very much. I have decided to stick in church because God will never run away from me and he has done for me very many things until i do not know how to thank him. When one becomes a widow if you are not saved pls look for a church and be serious with God and will do mighty things for you. God bless you and we continue to encourage each other.
I have been feeling this the past 2 weeks. I notice I’ve been withdrawing from people and just staying at home. It takes too much energy to go out and act like everyone else. I am not like everyone else, I am different. I am not who I was 7 months ago when I lost my love. Staying at home is easy and right now I want to take the easy way out. Maybe I’ll get out tomorrow, maybe.
Amie
Amie…it may seem the easy way out but it isn’t…life is so precious, so dear…we know that from losing people we love from this world. You still have value to give this world and love to share…don’t hide that from a world that needs people like you.
I did read he comments from Amie and I agree with you. Its not about giving up or giving in, its about overcoming this great loss. Anna and I have talked quite a bit about how we can feel so lonely when around friends or family but that is what this blog is for and others like it. We all come here because we have all been through the same thing. And maybe that is why we are still all here, to let other women out there know they are not alone. My friend always says “we gotta turn lemons into lemonade” it does make me sad that there are so many people that are hurting like I do but, WE are not alone! And everyone here can help.
I just lost my ( EVERYTHING) on January 17th 2009. This f eeling of emptiness is not going away, everything seems wrong, i hate everysingle place i can be, nothing takes my attention, all i do is cry and cry. He loved me like I will never be loved again, but now is too late to get him back. Hes 20 and I am 19. I did something very stupid and unnecessary. But I just pray to god to put in his heart to be with me, becuase I know hes the one. Hes the only one that can take my pain away. I dont want nobody else. My moms advices and actions to make me feel better are just not enough. It is true that when I watch a movie, or I am at work, or I am in certain places the pain goes away but It always comes back, specially in the morning. Every morning I open my eyes and the first thing I do is think about him and all the good memories that are the ones that hurt the most. Ill wait for him to forgive me. But If he wont forgive me I have no choice but to live this life by myself and praying god to take this pain away.
Nela – love is a strange thing indeed. Are you talking about someone dying or have you split up? Just not sure from what you are saying ? Whichever way you are grieving and that pain will be immense but you know that pain will ease, that pain is your heart saying that it needs time to recover but it will recover. Always remember it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all – I truly believe that, and you will love again when your heart is ready.