The Art of Forgiveness

As widows and widowers I believe forgiveness is a big part of coming through grief

• Forgiving yourself. I spent so much time wishing that I had done things differently. That I had prioritised family more than work, not that this was deliberate but I look back wishing that I had enjoyed more time at home rather than feeling tired alot. I realise now that the time has gone, that I did the best that I could, that he worshipped me and loved me for my energy with work.
• Forgiving the world for taking him from me. I realise that there is no logic why the good people are taken from us, just that death happens…..and we never know when, we never know where and that I must accept that it was just his time.
• Forgiving him. This sounds harsh and yet I have felt angry that he left me alone…..It wasn’t really anger, it was hurt because I loved “our love” and just wished that we could still be together.

Forgiveness is hard and yet to move on in grief you need to find it in your heart to forgive….after all what is the alternative to live a bitter life? That wouldn’t me, it wouldn’t be the person that my loved one wanted in his life. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting – it just means letting go of the negative and keeping the positive.