The Final Act of Love
October 24, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
There is an ongoing conversation at the blog post Watching Someone Die, which made me think of final acts of love. If any of you have examples let me know – anna@b5media.com, and I will share with everyone. In my comment, I talked about how Dad seemed to wait until after my sister had left the room to die, so he didn’t leave her with the picture of him dying….I believe it was his final act of love for a daughter he knew was not emotionally strong enough to see that final breath.I think there were other acts of love, like..
- Saying he wanted to go, asking us to let him go. Giving us hope that death released him from pain.
- Though unconscious, smiling when we touched him- he knew the difference between family and nurses.
- Asking us for our commitment to look after mum – it was like passing on his role, giving us something to hang on to and live up to…..
You know, with Dad he died quickly of dementia- within 80 days of diagnosis. The doctors were surprised by his rapid decline – even held a post mortam, I wasn’t though…Dad was a very poud man who loved my mum so much. He wanted to go quickly, he didn’t want my mum to suffer or be a burden to anyone. His early death, I
believe was truly his final act of love.I hated losing him, though mum said that we had lost him much earlier than when he took that final breath and she was right. I have a tear thinking of him now, Dad if you can access the internet from your resting place…I love you, I miss you every day of my life xxx
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