The Grief, Love, Anger Cycle
March 24, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Sometimes I feel that I have developed a split personality since my bereavement. Why? Because one moment I feel so much love and such happiness that I have felt the most incredible love and then the next moment I am angry…angry to have lost that one special person in my life.
From love to anger and back again in 60 seconds.
In one sense I love it as after the death I thought I would never be able to feel again, that my whole emotional being had shut down so that I never had to hurt again….therefore the anger and the love, show me that underneath that protective layer I can still 
..
I think in learning to cope it is not about getting rid of the emotions, it is about taking out the peaks and troughs of the emotion, it is about taking the emotions from an extreme like anger to a more liveable ’sad’
Death maybe the end in one sense, but death is only the start of finding more and more about yourself
Anna, I too have experienced a wide range of emotions in short periods of time. I see people who are happy together and I say to myself “Why is that not me? What did I do to deserve the loss of my love?” Then in a very short period of time I tell myself that I am luckier than a lot of people and that I should be grateful for having had a wonderful, loving husband. It’s just that it ended far too soon. You are so right that death is the start of finding out so much more about yourself. I have found out that I am much stronger than I ever would have guessed and that I can do many things I never thought possible. Let’s hope that we all spend the rest of our lives discovering new wonderful things about ourselves and that the future holds many more good things for all of us in the Widows Quest community. Don’t you think we deserve that much. I sure do.
I sure do think that – and the more I think about it the more I believe that it is not about losing the emotions, it is about controlling them. We almost need grief temperature gauges fitted
So when we feel down it lightens our mood and we feel tearful it makes us smile…
I agree with you though that I have learned more about myself in the last few years than at any other time of my life…..In a funny way I am more content??
Anna,
I love the idea of a temperature gauge for grief. I’m going to try and keep a mental picture of that and when I’m feeling down, I’ll think of that and try to turn it down so to speak.