The Importance of Control Over Your Life

I was reading about the following study by Harvard professors which was conducted in a nursing home.

One group of residents took charge of their daily living activities, including dressing, eating, personal hygiene and maintaining their own environments. A second group had all these functions taken care of for them by staff.

Results indicated that those in the first group were more alert, active and happier. 18 months later, 15% of that group had died, compared to 30% of the second group.

I know this was about the aging process but I think it is important for people who have lost their loved one, who have suffered bereavement. We can often feel helpless, we can often rely on others and become dependent on them to get us through life. Now some dependence on friends is vital, some support helps you…I think we can easily fall into a habit of depending on others. I have always felt that the more we can do, the more we can take control of…then that helps us to regain that sense of purpose in life. I think it also gives us a focus at a time when everything seems very unclear.

This is relevant as well to people like myself who has lost a parent – it is so easy to step into the lost parent shoes and do everything for the bereaved parent. This research may show that in the long run that may not be the best for your mum or dad?