The Letter That Tests My Grief
September 26, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Today I went to the door to collect the mail and there it was…a letter for him. It has been over 3 years and it has been a long time since I received a letter so it shuck me to the core. The worse thing is that it was for life insurance!
I sometimes think that life throws these little reminders to see how strong your heart is…..they are like 
checkmarks to see how your grief is progressing, to see how you are coping with your loss.
To some it was junk mail, to me it was the test of my strength – do you know I think I passed…just !
[istockphoto]
Anna, it seems that you have an uncanny way of writing just the right thing at the right time. Rick has only been gone since June so I regularly receive mail soliciting his business. I seem to have become accustomed to these. However, yesterday I received an e-mail sent by a local musician promoting his band’s fall concerts. Rick was on the mailing list for these and periodically received such notifications. It made me feel very sad and nostalgic as I remember reading these with Rick many times. The musician in question was well aware of the circumstances so it angered me a bit since it was addressed to Rick. I felt that he was being a bit insensitive to leave Rick’s name on this mailing list.
After my initial sadness I recovered enough to politely e-mail the person and let my feelings be known. He immediately replied, apologized for being so insensitive and told me how much everyone missed Rick.
I felt strengthened after this and feel that maybe this was a sign for me to realize how far I’ve come in such a short time.
Thanks again.
Leslie one day we will find we are related!
We seem to hit those same bumps at the similar times….I am always amazed how shocked I feel when I see his name. My mum still uses the old email address which has dads name on it – it always feel weird when I get an email from Dad as well. Mum says it is to keep him with us.
You have indeed come a long way in a short time, you put me to shame. Maybe you could bottle your strength and we could sell it for charity on the blog….:)
Leslie, I applaud your strength. It’s amazing how thoughtless people can be. You know the insensitivity isn’t intentional, but still…
Anna, I know what you mean about those tests. Hugs to you for passing. I’m not sure if I mentioned before that when I contacted the cable company to change the bill to my name, I was told that I would need to bring his death certificate to their office. So the bill continues to be in Michael’s name, and I continue to pay it as I always have.
Mary – thank you though I doubt if we ever truly pass the test, I think we scrape through each time! Maybe when you look at your telephone bill, it will remind you in your grief to keep talking to people and keep spreading the love that you know is so vital to happiness!