The Power of Friendships
September 10, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Practical Tips on Grief
I write a lot about friendship and the support of friends through the process of grief. I like this article at the Daily Record called The Power of Friendships which says
“When it comes to bereavement, women will have a strong source of support in her friends, while a man may have suffered a double bereavement, losing his wife and friend at the same time.”
Strong platonic friendships can be difficult to sustain, mainly because of other people’s perceptions of them.
“Most of us rarely stop to analyse our friendships, but knowing you have this bond with someone is an incredible source of strength.
“On a day-to-day basis, it’s good to spend time with someone whose company you enjoy and who feels the same way about you – it relaxes you and has all sorts of other benefits, such as sharing experiences, jokes and ambitions.” 
Have you a story of how a friendship has grown or how friendship has helped you ? I know that without my friends I don’t think I would have coped. I will never forget my best friend who came to the hospital on his last day, then came and stayed with me on the night. She just held me, not saying anything, just being there…it meant so much
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I have – very fortunately – two VERY good friends, a married couple. I have no family in this state (Texas) and so my husband’s sudden and unexpected death left me at a complete loss, as far as taking care of immediate needs. My wonderful sister phoned this couple, and they immediately cancelled a flight to Kansas and drove in to be with me – a 3-1/2 hour drive. And they stayed with me and assisted me in many ways, until my immediate family could join me – over 2 days later.
They have been so supportive, giving me a place to get away for weekends, and furthermore, NOT treating me like the “odd man out” in their plans. I know that much of this comes from my girlfriend’s ideas, but her husband is just as supportive as she is. I feel truly blessed to have known them for at least 17 years – it is difficult to find and bond with new “best friends” when you are all in your 40’s or older, but that is what happened here.
I have been forming new friendships – some with widows and some with divorced women in my neighborhood – since his death, too. But none of these are as close as this “long distance” girlfriend. I feel like I have been blessed, and I hope that some day I can share this support with others.
Jessica what a wonderful friendship that is, I think the fact that we lose “love” from our lives in some way….the love of a friend somehow helps compensates.
I value friendship even more now as
Ooops!
I value friendship even more now as that love for the health of another is wonderful.
I also love the internet now….I know it is different but it still gives me a sense of belonging
Yes, the internet is a wonderful lifeline, where we can reach across borders and oceans to help and support one another. I would never have “met” you, without the ‘net! And that is how I came to join a meetup group in Houston for Widows and Widowers. We had to postpone this weekend’s meeting, since Hurricane Ike is threatening to pay us a visit. But this small group is also supportive and helpful (as are you, also).
Jessica hope you are OK with the hurricanes, honestly we don’t get great weather but it is at times like these when we realise we don’t get the worst either. Be safe
I see so many wonderful comments about loved ones through your web site which makes me feel very much connected to people that I do not even know…but through their words and your words I feel that there is always someone there that will help me through the not so easy times….
Suzanne – I think that is where blogging and the internet really helps as it gives us the power of virtual connections. I know through the community here I never feel alone. And you are right there is always someone here to help you through the dark days…is your loss recent?