There is a saying that the first step is the hardest…I sometimes wonder if that is true in the bereavement process?
Why?
Because the first step isn’t often the one that helps start to heal the broken heart…in itself. Of course the first time going out, the first time you meet someone, the first time you go on holiday, the first anniversary are all hard…I don’t dispute that at all. However often the first step is surrounded by friends, often the first step is understood by all as a difficult step for a widow or widower.
But following that you have to start …read more

I went over to Mums this weekend and met up with some old friends which was great. I laughed, I relaxed, I felt a kind of release…then…
I come home, log online and find that my Facebook profile had been “got”, “spammed” whatever you call it….and do you know it through me completely backwards. Just when you think that you are finding your feet – why does life throw you a curve ball!
Maybe it is to test that underlying strength, maybe it is to warn you that one swallow doesn’t make a summer? Maybe it is to show you that the …read more

I received a wonderful email from one of the Widows Quest readers who has written this poem about her grief – she would love to turn it into a song so she is starting to learn the piano to put it to music. I love sharing our thoughts so if you have something you want to share then email me at anna@b5media.com.
For Michael
My baby died last Thursday.
I don’t know what to do
My heart is lost and lonely
It doesn’t have a clue.
Oh, where are you baby?
Are you missing me, too?
Are you lost inside my dreams now
With my memories and blues?
I look …read more

I saw this quote when I was shopping in Whole Foods yesterday, it is accredited to Mary Anne Radmacher
 ”Courage does not always roar,
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
At the end of the day
Saying “I will try again tomorrow”   
I think those 4 lines sum up the courage we need each day as we fight our grief, fight our loss, fight that desire to give up and walk away. But lets all remember to …try again tomorrow.

I am reading a book about Eleanor Roosevelt at the moment and there are some very powerful quotations which I wanted to share with you.
“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know.”
“We are happy together & strong relationships have to grow deep roots. We’re growing them now, partly because we are separated, the foliage and the flowers will come somehow I’m sure of it….Love is a queer thing, it hurts but it gives you so much in return.”
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
“With the new …read more

I came across this poem at Scrapbook.com – it is simple and yet so true
A Stairway to Heaven
Author: unknown
If Tears Could Build A Stairway
And Memories A Lane
I’d Walk Right Up To Heaven
And Bring You Home Again

….I saw this and smiled – “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven” a quote by Karen Sunde.
And now he’s there….  

I just read this and wanted to share it. I believe it is from Eugene H. Peterson.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure int the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

I posted this week about launching a weekly podcast to share stories with everyone and asking for listeners for stories. I was delighted to receive this from Tiffany and wanted to share it with you all…. 
I read of a man, who stood to speak at the funeral for a friend;
he referred to the dates on her tombstone from beginning to end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the second with tears
but he said that what mattered most of all, was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive …read more

As we enter the family season it can be extremely hard to cope with the grief. For me, the solution is in the word…
 Pay thanks for the family around you, that love you and help you through this time. Pay thanks for having loved which is a wonderful experience. Pay thanks for the memories that you treasure in your mind.
Give love – remember the more you give away the more you will receive. Give time to allow the family to remember the people who are no longer here. Give yourself credit for coping with grief, and know that every day …read more