Why?

Because the first step isn’t often the one that helps start to heal the broken heart…in itself. Of course the first time going out, the first time you meet someone, the first time you go on holiday, the first anniversary are all hard…I don’t dispute that at all. However often the first step is surrounded by friends, often the first step is understood by all as a difficult step for a widow or widower.

But following that you have to start progressing on your own, often you don’t enjoy the first experience because of the loneliness and that can make the future even more difficult.

What I would like to say to people feeling like that is this….there is no definitive answer..it may be the first, fifth or fiftieth step you take which is the hardest. But the alternative of removing yourself from life or society is not easy anyway. It feeds depression, it feeds loneliness so what I would think about is this

“This step is hard, it may even be painful but at least it is a step in the right direction”

Post from: Widows Quest

I come home, log online and find that my Facebook profile had been “got”, “spammed” whatever you call it….and do you know it through me completely backwards. Just when you think that you are finding your feet – why does life throw you a curve ball!

Maybe it is to test that underlying strength, maybe it is to warn you that one swallow doesn’t make a summer? Maybe it is to show you that the journey through grief will have its ups and downs but when we get it right…..life still holds happiness?

Post from: Widows Quest

For Michael

My baby died last Thursday.

I don’t know what to do

My heart is lost and lonely

It doesn’t have a clue.

Oh, where are you baby?

Are you missing me, too?

Are you lost inside my dreams now

With my memories and blues?

I look for you on corners.

I see you everywhere

I see you in the birds now

Sailing in the air.

When I look into the sunset

Beyond the trees, and clouds, and sky

I see your face shining brightly

But I’m still asking why.

Why did you have to leave me

With my broken heart?

I don’t know what to do now.

I don’t know where to start.

Mary McNally

March 2007

know there are many of you that would share my thanks to Mary for sending these words to us all and how the words express the sense of loss that we all feel during our bereavement. Thanks Mary x

Post from: Widows Quest

 ”Courage does not always roar,

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice

At the end of the day

Saying “I will try again tomorrow”   

I think those 4 lines sum up the courage we need each day as we fight our grief, fight our loss, fight that desire to give up and walk away. But lets all remember to …try again tomorrow.

Post from: Widows Quest

“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know.”

“We are happy together & strong relationships have to grow deep roots. We’re growing them now, partly because we are separated, the foliage and the flowers will come somehow I’m sure of it….Love is a queer thing, it hurts but it gives you so much in return.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

“With the new day comes strength and new thoughts”

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built!

Some powerful thoughts to help you build your future….

Post from: Widows Quest

A Stairway to Heaven

Author: unknown

If Tears Could Build A Stairway
And Memories A Lane
I’d Walk Right Up To Heaven
And Bring You Home Again

Post from: Widows Quest

And now he’s there….  

Post from: Widows Quest

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure int the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Post from: Widows Quest

I read of a man, who stood to speak at the funeral for a friend;
he referred to the dates on her tombstone from beginning to end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the second with tears
but he said that what mattered most of all, was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth,
and now only those who loved her know what that little line was worth.

For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash
what matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change?
for you never know how much time is left (you could be at “dash mid-range”)

If we just slow down enough to consider what is true and real,
and always try to understand the way other people feel

And be less quick to anger show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile
remembering that this special dash, might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash;
would you be pleased with the things they have to say about how you spent your dash?

By: Linda Ellis

Post from: Widows Quest

 Pay thanks for the family around you, that love you and help you through this time. Pay thanks for having loved which is a wonderful experience. Pay thanks for the memories that you treasure in your mind.

Give love – remember the more you give away the more you will receive. Give time to allow the family to remember the people who are no longer here. Give yourself credit for coping with grief, and know that every day that goes by you are getting a little stronger.

Remembering THANKS and GIVING will be honouring your loved one.

Post from: Widows Quest