what is waiting around the corner….
A long term friend who lost her boyfriend – they had lived together for 15 yrs before his death – rang me to tell me the following
She said that she has been so depressed, she was fighting this urge of giving up, of taking her own life. (You would never have known as she always seemed so together) She had even got her finanicals sorted with the thought of leaving the pain behind.
But last month as she was coming home from work, her car broke down. She was thinking this is a sign, life is …read more

When is the right time to move on? A question which I often get asked. The answer is simple….when you are ready and the time is different to everyone.
Love runs deep, it runs through the soul your being. It starts in the heart and flows through your veins in a way which you cannot control. When that source of love gets taken away your body, mind and spirit needs to heal.
However, one thing we all have to remember is there is no right time…it will never feel like the exact time. We have to be brave one day and open …read more

I think learning to love again, or learning to see that loving again is acceptable as a widow or widower after suffering a tragedy is the hardest thing. I remember a quote from Iris Murdoch who said
“We can only learn to love, by loving”
As widows or widowers we could change that to 
“We can only learn to love again, by loving again”
Grief is the end of one chapter of your life. It is not the end of loving. After all death has brought an end to the partnership but it has brought an end to t he love we feel …read more

When I was young I was the original child that loved fairgrounds and fair rides. There was a ride called The Tunnel of Love. At that age it was exciting, it was fun.
I now understand that the ride was an analogy of real love. Real love is exciting, fun, adventurous….it is a journey that has a start and as all widows and widowers know, an ending. There is light, there is darkness but most of all it is scary.
The tunnel of love…gives you excitement, gives you thrills. The tunnel of love has ups and downs, light and darkness. The …read more

I posted about relaxing to ease the fear…..it made me think about love and what love isn’t

Love isn’t something we should fear
Love isn’t something everyone enjoys…so be grateful for the feeling
Love isn’t something that disappears on death
Love isn’t remembering the good and forgetting the bad, love is remembering the whole
Love isn’t about regrets  
Love isn’t about forgetting, love is about forgiving the grief

I wonder what you think ?  Do you have any thoughts on what love isn’t?
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I spoke with an old friend tonight, who lost her husband in a road accident about 5 years ago. His death was a shock and she went through a severe depression resulting in quite a dependency on anti depressants. She really could never imagine life without him and we feared a suicide bid.
She phoned to announce her engagement to a wonderful man who she met at a local grief support group. She never believed that she would be able to love again, yet she has not only found love, but a happiness that is wonderful to see.
I asked her if …read more

I just love stories that show us hope, that show us that we can find love again. I read this heart warming story
Here is a snippett from the story of Edna L. Fugiel, 77, and Michael C. Fugiel, 88, for whom love has proved timeless and ageless.
“After my husband died, I wrote on a little piece of paper ‘Please God, give me someone to love me for who I am and for me to love. It disappeared from my dresser, and I think God took it,” she added.
Along with becoming acquainted in the bereavement group, the two danced together in …read more

In celebration of the upcoming holiday, the b5media Lifestyles Channel participated in their own little carnival, hearts and flowers, hugs and kisses…
I wanted to share the wonderful posts as a way of helping us see that Valentines Day may be difficult to us but yet there is still love in the world, there is still love there for us all to find…when we are ready…
Now, won’t take a little stroll with me around the channel to revisit some and discover new Valentine goodies our bloggers are dishing up just for you?
Cyndi from Layers Upon Layers shares a beautiful handcrafted plaque …read more

I got a comment about how to meet new people. I think the first thing I would say is that just like something that you have lost and are looking for – if you search too hard then you cannot find it! For me, it is about putting yourself back in a social circle, enjoying the company and looking for friendship that may grow in the future. Some ideas that I have are

Join a local interest club – walking, pottery, heritage, music
Take a course – learning a language, computer skills, cookery – whatever you would like to learn.
Hold a themed …read more