A long term friend who lost her boyfriend – they had lived together for 15 yrs before his death – rang me to tell me the following

She said that she has been so depressed, she was fighting this urge of giving up, of taking her own life. (You would never have known as she always seemed so together) She had even got her finanicals sorted with the thought of leaving the pain behind.

But last month as she was coming home from work, her car broke down. She was thinking this is a sign, life is just not for me. Then a guy stopped and helped her, they started talking and as it happens he was a widower and felt the same numbness. He has 3 children and was struggling to cope with helping them, working and looking after himself.

As you can guess they had much to talk about and over the last few weeks a chance meeting, has turned into friendship and now a little more. Neither were looking for love, neither thought they were ready to meet anyone else. Now as she says this may fizzle out, it may not be a long term relationship…but for now she is loving every moment of their friendship. She never had children so being part of a family is very different and wonderful for her.

It just shows that when you feel there is nothing to live for….you never know what is around the other side of the bonnet! I wish her well…..

Post from: Widows Quest

Love runs deep, it runs through the soul your being. It starts in the heart and flows through your veins in a way which you cannot control. When that source of love gets taken away your body, mind and spirit needs to heal.

However, one thing we all have to remember is there is no right time…it will never feel like the exact time. We have to be brave one day and open our heart to friendship at first and then allow love to grow again. It will never replace the love, it will be a new seed that grows and flourishes in a new way.

Guilt can hold you back, but in reality that guilt is in our minds not reality. Our love for them won’t fade or go away, it will live beside the new feelings…..love after all is eternal, it is just humans that die….

Post from: Widows Quest

“We can only learn to love, by loving”

As widows or widowers we could change that to 

“We can only learn to love again, by loving again”

Grief is the end of one chapter of your life. It is not the end of loving. After all death has brought an end to the partnership but it has brought an end to t he love we feel – that love is causing our grief. That shows that we can still love, that grief shows that our heart still ha s the capacity. As hard as it seems, one day our heart will open up to the risk of loving again….it was born to love.

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Post from: Widows Quest

I now understand that the ride was an analogy of real love. Real love is exciting, fun, adventurous….it is a journey that has a start and as all widows and widowers know, an ending. There is light, there is darkness but most of all it is scary.

The tunnel of love…gives you excitement, gives you thrills. The tunnel of love has ups and downs, light and darkness. The Tunnel of Love is still a ride that is worth the investment.

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Post from: Widows Quest

• Love isn’t something we should fear
• Love isn’t something everyone enjoys…so be grateful for the feeling
• Love isn’t something that disappears on death
• Love isn’t remembering the good and forgetting the bad, love is remembering the whole
• Love isn’t about regrets  
• Love isn’t about forgetting, love is about forgiving the grief

I wonder what you think ?  Do you have any thoughts on what love isn’t?

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Post from: Widows Quest

She phoned to announce her engagement to a wonderful man who she met at a local grief support group. She never believed that she would be able to love again, yet she has not only found love, but a happiness that is wonderful to see.

I asked her if she could give any advice to people, this is what she said

“Grief is a tunnel, as you enter you can see only darkness. It feels lonely, cold, damp – from all the tears. But if you keep on walking, keep on moving through that tunnel, then you will see a light. Small at first but keep going, because that light will become stronger. I will never forget him, my love will always be there – loving someone else will never take that away” 

Post from: Widows Quest

Here is a snippett from the story of Edna L. Fugiel, 77, and Michael C. Fugiel, 88, for whom love has proved timeless and ageless.

“After my husband died, I wrote on a little piece of paper ‘Please God, give me someone to love me for who I am and for me to love. It disappeared from my dresser, and I think God took it,” she added.
Along with becoming acquainted in the bereavement group, the two danced together in a ballroom dancing class before they became friends and then starting dating. ….

“We are laughing every day. We have no arguments,” he said. “Just being together is great.”

“We talk all the time and laugh all the time. All we have to do is look at each other and we laugh,” his new wife added.”

For any widow or widower who feels that they will never love again, what a wonderful story to say that we never know when that special someone will enter our lives and capture our heart. Well done, and I hope they share some fantastic memories together

Post from: Widows Quest

In celebration of the upcoming holiday, the b5media Lifestyles Channel participated in their own little carnival, hearts and flowers, hugs and kisses…

I wanted to share the wonderful posts as a way of helping us see that Valentines Day may be difficult to us but yet there is still love in the world, there is still love there for us all to find…when we are ready…

Now, won’t take a little stroll with me around the channel to revisit some and discover new Valentine goodies our bloggers are dishing up just for you?

Cyndi from Layers Upon Layers shares a beautiful handcrafted plaque that packs a punch and if you’re not into throwing a punch, how about jewelry. That’s always a nice option – especially when it’s handmade.

Widows Quest offers tips to help cope during the holiday or anniversary when the loss of a loved one might feel a bit more difficult.

Katelyn at Stamping Mad has created a special Valentine’s Greeting especially for her readers.

Sandy at All Holiday Cafe pauses to thank her 6th Grade English Teacher for giving her the love of words.

Christina from SoloMother pays tribute to all those who have enriched the lives of both she and her son, made them laugh, made them feel safe, loved, wanted.

Deb Ng shares a funny little poem she’s written for her husband and his amazing and a little more than Simply Thrifty habits.

Hankering for Yarn and Noreen is sharing a family tradition this holiday by sharing a design and tips on how to make a spool knitted Valentine.

Chloe from Tangled Thread has decided to give felt sweethearts this year for Valentine’s Day, not candy ones.

Marcie at A Child Chosen has a delightful idea for a candy-free alternative to creating a fun Valentine for kids.

Peggy, one of our newest channel members has created a very special Valentine to our planet Earth via Tree Hugging Family.

Julie from Declutter It is thinking of her husband on Valentine’s Day with a funny little poem that could be from the spouse of anyone who spends too much time on the computer. And if you swing on over to Play Library, you can check out some very funny Valentine quotes that are sure to bring a smile to your face.

If a romantic comedy is what you have in mind this Valentine’s Day, check out the list of movie titles Thrifty Mommy has compiled and while you’re there, why not drop off a few of your own favorite titles too!

If you’re parenting teens or tweens, be sure to check out the list of Valentine activities for kids of all ages at Weary Parent. You’ll find a fun assortment of treats, crafts and more that Char has graciously put together.

Farley shares a somewhat intimate letter to the object of her blogging affection on Behind the Vines.

Joshua at Junk Creations has come up with an amazing, recycled style Valentine for his lovely bride and is sharing his creativeness with all of us. I wonder if his wife knows how much we appreciate his artistic talents?

The newest edition to Supernanny Rules pays tribute to her husband with a quirky little poem that is tells it like it is.

Heather has taken her Creative Journal and used it as a space to share a Haiku from the heart for her own love this holiday of love.

Our very own Lifestyles channel Super Hero, Trench, has written a very special poem to the Attorney General at My Crime Space, while at Psycho for Love, he shares his views on why there should be an Anti-Valentine’s Day and shares his thoughts on how people should let those they love know they love them all year long.

Jennifer at Offbeat Homes has created a special offbeat Valentine greeting especially for her readers.

Mary Emma Allen at Quilting and Patchwork suggests seven ideas for Valentine’s Day cards, gifts, and activities quilters can use to make this a special occasion.

Heather at Chocolate Bytes has gotten clever in how to drop hints for her husband when it gets to be February 13th and he hasn’t got a clue what to get her.

Noel at Unplugged Living offers up a special greeting to his wife and son with a surprise announcement for his readers.

Marye at Baking Delights takes us along for a walk down memory lane to a time when she decorated her first cake ever. Speaking of memory lane, while you’re there, check out the flashback to our very own G.I. Jane and how she handles those who try to steal her thunder.

Sasha at Dating Dames shares her own Top 5 Heart Gifts. This list might come in handy for those who are stumped for ideas.

Maricar at Keeping the Castle has created a special card for all her readers. Cupids got nothing on our Queen of the Castle.

Kerri Aldrich of Marriage Actually was one who was down with the flu and since her Valentine took such good care of her while she was sick, she was inspired to write a bit of poetry.

Elizabeth, otherwise known to many as BusyMom, shares a special love note from her heart to her readers on both GenBetween and Career and Kids.

Linette Gerlach at Mother Earth’s Garden is getting prepared for Spring and has taken a bit of a break from gardening tips and tales to share a little Valentine poem and Herbal Folklore with all of you.

Christine Gooding, our virtual wedding planner shares lots of Valentine Wedding Proposal ideas for all you men folk who have the ring, but not the words.

And what better way to end our trail of Valentine wishes… Tracee Sioux of BlogFabulous is like having our very own Energizer Bunny sometimes. Tracee has put together her own little shopping list of thank yous to the love of her life…

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine’s Day holiday and if you can’t be with the one you love, share it with those who love you, right here on b5media Lifestyles.

Post from: Widows Quest

1. Join a local interest club – walking, pottery, heritage, music
2. Take a course – learning a language, computer skills, cookery – whatever you would like to learn.
3. Hold a themed party or barbecue and ask friends, family
4. Join on line groups that are for widows, widowers, bearevement
5. Join a bereavement support club
6. Start a sport – my mum at 76 took up crown green bowls!
7. Join a volunteer group – bonus of helping others whilst meeting new people
8. Arrange a holiday – one that is for singles with similar interests – I went on a walking holiday

The key is about being out there, learning to be YOU again, learning to enjoy life again without feeling guilty. I am a believer in givers gain – when you meet someone ask how you can help them, ask questions about them – people love to talk about themselves.  

Anyone else got any ideas?

Post from: Widows Quest