I was sent these two wonderful grief poems by a lady who referred to herself as Jenny. She had just heard them at a family funeral and thought that we may find some comfort in them…..thank you Jenny for sharing
In Our Hearts
We thought of you with love today.
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday.
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories.
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake.
With which we’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
We have you in our heart..
author unknown
Four Candles
The …read more

I was talking to someone who had just organised a natural burial. I had heard about the term but didn’t really know much about the process – but what a wonderful concept. For regular readers you will know I want to donate my body to medical science…I want to help others in death but if I was going to be buried then this would be a choice I would think about.
“A natural burial allows you to use your funeral as a conservation tool to create, restore and protect urban green spaces.” as defined by The Centre for Natural Burial.
The site …read more

Grief manages to sap all the energy, it can change a positive person to a depressive person – I should know! But I always think of a letter sent by a great friend who wrote
“You have two choices. You can give up and let people remember you as someone who gave up, who let life slip through their fingers, someone who didn’t think enough of their friends and family to dig deep and stay around to enjoy life together in the future!
Or you can fight, you can find that inner strength to come through the sense of loss. You can …read more

The music at a funeral can be very emotive and I know how important it is to choose the right song. We had a question

earlier this week about songs which are suitable for childrens funerals. I found a website that suggests
Funeral Songs and Memorial Music for a Child’s Service

My Heart Will Go On – performed by Celine Dion (Sample lyrics – “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on”
In Dreams – performed by Roy Orbison (Sample lyrics – “In dreams I walk with you. in dreams I talk …read more

I watched the funeral of the reality TV star, Jade Goody today. Jade died of cervical cancer at the young age of 27. Jade loved being a star and I couldn’t help thinking the one person who would really love the day would be Jade herself….
It made me think how the one person who probably misses the funeral the most, is always the person we are saying goodbye to… It made me think how I would love to be truly at my own funeral. I would love to see the effect I had on peoples lives, I would love to …read more

On Widows Quest I often say how I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life not a morbid affair which upsets my nearest and dearest. I want to find my own “perfect” funeral so that no one has to worry about arrangements when I am gone, or wonder what I would have wanted. Isn’t it strange how being ill, makes you think about your own mortality?
I came across an article at Trendhunters about “An entrepreneur named Lynn Isenberg has brought new life to death with novel, personalized funerals” For example,

A funeral for a lifelong golf enthusiast, for …read more

I was wondering how songs are changing and which are the most popular songs. CBC says the following funeral songs were the most popular

Goodbye My Lover, James Blunt.
Angels, Robbie Williams
I’ve Had the Time of My Life, Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
Pie Jesu, Requiem
Candle in the Wind, Elton John
With or Without You, U2
Tears from Heaven, Eric Clapton
Every Breath You Take, The Police 
Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers

Do you know when I go, I would want a happy song…one to make you smile or one that was upbeat. I  want people to celebrate my life not miss me. …read more

I wrote yesterday about a family friend who had died this week. The funeral was today. At the funeral someone asked
“What do you think he has left behind?”  I replied
“A friendship that was constant and authentic. A passion for the truth. A trail of love and respect”
They answered
“No I mean money?”
I am not often stuck for words but this was one of those moments. Their life is over, for me it is a time for reflection, reflection of how much they brought to the world. Time to think about the friendship, a time to think about the value of …read more

I received an email from someone who is speaking at a funeral this week and wanted my tips on how to cope with the stress and pressure whilst you are grieving. I thought I would share the speaking tips

I concentrated on seeing this as speaking on his behalf, this was not about me or my nerves this   was about speaking on behalf of my loved one. This gave me the strength to do it…I wanted to”do him proud”
I wrote the speech straight from the heart, I thought about what he would want me to say and wrote it as …read more

As a female role model in UK business, there are few…if any…that could rival Anita Roddick. The Body Shop founder who died of a brain haemorrhage earlier this month, kept her environmental focus even at her funeral. She was buried using a “green coffin”, followed by an organic buffet, mourners were greeted with banners bearing exotic swear words…one friend said “Even in death, Anita wanted to go with a green bang…one that was in keeping with her strong moral and ethical beliefs. During the wake a selection of panpiped world music was played…even the cremation was planned with the environment …read more