I can’t express the emotion that I have when I see a life taken in combat and how the family copes with the grief and sheer horror of loss.

There are no words I can write on Widows Quest that will properly express what I feel today….but maybe I could say

Death will never bring an end to the love that we feel, death will never stop us remembering, death will never be in vain and death will never mean that we forget. Death is just a pause in our lives together….an eternal flame of everlasting love and gratitude will burn forever

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For someone who knows the devastation of death, I just cannot imagine what these familes go through. What they go through when they are alive fighting on the front line and what they go through when they hear that fateful news…..

I don’t think I could cope with the not knowing, the fear, the loss….and I just wanted to write somewhere to say…

I cannot ever imagine your pain, I cannot imagine what it is like losing someone through war and fighting for the democracy of others. I cannot imagine how I can help you, but know this….my thoughts, my prayers are with you all. There is not one day that I don’t think about the pain….it is true that these soldiers will never be forgotten.

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“I really do miss my dearest husband and I instantly start to cry when I look at our pictures. This has not been happening lately, but today I feel down and am in need of finding someone to talk to. My mother is around, but she seems to become worse if I open up for her.
So I really don’t know what to do….”

I know we all know that feeling, I know that none of us can take away the pain but I do know that there is a wonderful community who will want to reach out and help – any advice you can give please leave a comment.

My thoughts are

• You are going through the grief cycle. Your feelings, your tears are your heart showing the world its pain. With a broken leg, the world gives you a cast…with a broken heart they don’t, but it still needs to heal. Don’t fear the tears, let your heart recover in its own way.
•  When I didn’t feel that I had anyone to talk to, I started a journal and used to write my feelings down. I felt that I either had to talk or write…..I needed to release the pain.
• Is there a support group that you could go to for military widows ? That would be good as those people understand losing your husband in war.
• There is no logic to loss. I think when I came to terms with there was nothing that I could do to change his death…then I started to move forward. We cannot make sense of what has happened, we cannot bring them back….what I then did was concentrate on how I could honor his memory…it gave me something to focus on for the future rather than thinking about what had happened

I know the community here will help you. We understand your pain and are here for you…talk to us, share your feelings, we will see you through the pain

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I just wonder when we as a world will learn that war causes such tremendous pain, conflict never seems to solve problems, and that we all as human beings should value life and find a way to live in peace no matter what our religious beliefs, politics, background or past cultural history.

I know that war has been a part of life since day 1 however, I still don’t know how “intelligent” human beings can not see the pain we cause each other…how life is a precious gift that we should value more than death.

I know that war will continue however, I pray that one day we all learn to live together on this large planet that surely can cope with our differences… In the meantime, my heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one on military duty, no matter what side…the pain is intolerable and I hope that Widows Quest can provide some comfort and strength in your hour of need..

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“A US soldier has been withdrawn from Iraq after his two brothers were killed in action, echoing the Oscar-winning film “Saving Private Ryan”, it was reported Friday.

Jason Hubbard, 33, will return to his family’s home in northern California after younger brother Nathan, 21, was one of 14 soldiers killed in a Black Hawk helicopter crash in northern Iraq on Wednesday.

The death came three years after a roadside bombing claimed the life of another sibling, Jared, 22, in Fallujah in 2004, reports said.

Jason was withdrawn under the military’s “sole survivor” policy aimed at preventing parents losing all of their children to war.

The case bears a striking similarity to Steven Spielberg’s 1998 film about a mission to recover a soldier from northern France after all his brothers are killed during the D-Day landings.

“Art imitates life, and unfortunately sometimes life imitates art,” an army official who asked not to be identified told AFP.

Jason Hubbard had been travelling in another helicopter accompanying the Black Hawk chopper which crashed on Wednesday, according to reports…..

A priest and family friend, Tim Rolen, said the Hubbard family was struggling to come to terms with the tragedy.

“The word I would not use is destroyed. This is a family with strong ties, strong connections. It won’t destroy them, but it will get them about as close as you can get to that,” he told the Fresno Bee newspaper….Later that year he had signed up along with elder brother Jason, a former policeman. The brothers’ mother said she believed Jason had joined to protect his younger brother. In an interview shortly before his deployment to Iraq, Nathan said he was unfazed by the risk he could be killed.

“People are going to be hurt, and people are going to be killed,” he said. That is the reality you have to accept, but not dwell on.

“If I worried about dying … I would live too cautious, and I want to live a very great life,” he said.”

 How telling that last phrase, maybe hero Nathan had it right…we never know how long we have in this world and living it to the full is all we can do…god bless the family.

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 The whole world, all religions are suffering loss and I can only imagine the level of pain across the world. You would think as humans, as people we should be able to find a way of living together rather than dying together.

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- As of Thursday, July 5, 2007, at least 3,591 members of the U.S. military have died since the beginning of the Iraq war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count. The figure includes seven military civilians. At least 2,951 died as a result of hostile action, according to the military’s numbers.

The striking part for me is that 1,000 were not due to hostile action – for anyone reading this blog who has lost someone, my heart goes out to you.

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