1. Exercise
2. Listen to music
3. Get in touch with nature
4. Reach out to others, friends family and people who need your help
5. Don’t compare yourself with others – you are you!
6. Live in the moment. The past has gone, the future is yet to come
7. Don’t beat yourself up. It solves nothing and only hurts
8. Accept that life has its ups and downs
9. Every night reflect on what went well
10. Believe in yourself

All of these sound easy, all of these sound obvious, all of these however feel hard during grief. Key I think is to keep reminding ourselves of the blindingly obvious. We can get so focused on what has gone wrong, what is not right that we forget to look at the progress and what is right in our lives.

As always I have posted little messages around the house. Just one line messages to remind me that life is for living not for waiting to die.

Post from: Widows Quest

The fear of leaving the past behind

The fear of living the future.

We don’t want to move on, yet we want to cope with the pain. We miss our loved ones and cannot imagine loving again in the future. We cry for what we have lost, we cry for what the future holds.

But in reality the past is gone, the future is not here…all we have is now – the present. The fears belong to the past and the future, yet are affecting the present. What we need to do is use the fear…positively. Fear can act as motivation now to change our lives in the future. Fear can either cause us to freeze emotionally or it can be our adrenaline to change our mindset.

Fear is an intangible, irrational emotional state that can control us unless we learn to control it. We control it by understanding them and by facing our fears.

Lets face our fears – now – in the present, not hiding from either the past or the future.

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Yet when I hear her now – she still speaks about Dad on most phone calls – she is getting on with her life and doing things that she would never have done before. In the 4 years she has started to play bowls, using public transport to visit friends (she would never have done that before), she goes on 2 holidays a year, she has bought a treadmill, she made some many new friends, she has joined 3 clubs etc

This made me think – behind all the heartache, behind all the pain there is also opportunity. You would never want a death to occur of your partner but when it happens, it opens up new doors that you never saw, or would never have gone through as a couple. For all the pain, there is an opportunity to live those personal dreams that you have always had…by living the opportunity, the irony is that it can ease the pain. 

She is a role model, she is my mum….

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Wow, a huge question and one that really does depend on the situation but here are my thoughts..

I think we often as human beings need to be right, when what we need to do is understand that there is often not just a single right answer. Each person is different, although we have common bonds in a family, each family consists of individuals….

Each person will grieve at a different rate, some with anger…others silently. No one is right, no one is wrong.

I think the best way is to come through a family disagreement is to be empathetic to the differences – even if you are alone in doing that!

I try and focus on what we do agree on, how we can reconcile our differences rather than resolve the problem. Why? Because I think when emotions are high at times of stress, then we won’t find a solution that fits all. We can only find a solution that reconciles our differences rather than solve them..

What do you think?

Post from: Widows Quest

Even though the origami angels aren’t really on topic for hankeringforyarn, it felt appropriate to post this tutorial as a response to Anna being in need of some healing energy.

As I have been posting the tutorials for the Origami Angel of Peace and Healing, it struck me again how important it is to remind ourselves of the presence of angels in our lives.

Making angel dolls, especially simple ones like this one, is a good way of doing that.

Angels are everywhere, everywhen. We tend to associate them with Christmas, but every day is angel day…..

May they bless your lives and your hearts! And, may Anna soon be all better!

It’s really nice to have all the links for a project in one place, so I’ve posted them all in one entry:

Here it is : origami-angels-of-peace-and-healing-links

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I am sending healing thoughts and energy, to all that need it, whether in body, mind or spirit… may Angels of Peace and Healing surround you- now and always. All ways….

And, here is the final installment of the Origami Angel of Peace and Healing: Part 3

Post from: Widows Quest

Since Anna is sick and can’t blog right now, her blogging buddies from b5 are writing guest posts.

They are really poignant and powerful…..

I’ve been really moved by them.

My contribution is to post instructions for making

Origami Angels of Peace and Healing.

As you fold these angels, please fold in as much healing and peace creating thoughts as possible…..

In Part 1 of this tutorial, the preliminary folds were made.

And here is Part 2. You’ll need scissors for this part.

Post from: Widows Quest

She writes beautifully about a difficult topic: Grief and grieving. I have a great deal of empathy for Anna.

My family and I have had an unseemly amount of grief in the last few years, coping with life threatening illnesses, and with the deaths of family members, friends, relations, and animal companions. It’s been a difficult passage for us, and it has taught us a lot about compassion and love and gratitude.

I have found great healing in the fiber arts and in soulful dollmaking. Dollmaking can be profoundly healing. When dollmaking is approached in a contemplative and meditative manner, it is very nurturing and sustaining. I hope that by posting the tutorials for my designs for these origami angels, I will contribute to the healing of hearts that are aching.

Please Note: This is also a great way to take care of the planet…. use paper that has already been used – gift wrap, envelopes, magazine pages, paper bags, etc

Here is part one of the tutorial for Origami Angels of Peace and Healing, by Noreen Crone-Findlay (c)

Post from: Widows Quest

You see, Anna has fallen ill and is currently under the weather and under doctors care so she won’t be posting for a few days, perhaps a little longer – but I promise, she will be back soon.

If you’d like to leave a special message for her, please do so in the comment section of this post. I’ll see that she gets those, at least. As for the rest of the goods around here, well, she’s under strict orders by me, to not worry about a thing.

In the meantime, Anna wanted me to pass on word that she’s thinking of you and hopes you are coping with the holiday season.

Post from: Widows Quest

Shirley presents How to cope with your pain. posted at Brighter Days for you and me!, saying, ““You’ll be okay; you are good at coping with life’s hurdles.” Have you ever heard this and wanted to stomp on the foot of the person who said it? I’ve heard it a lot, from the time I was in middle school and my parents got divorced, to the present day when I talk to friends or family about my problems. While well-meaning and essentially true, sometimes platitudes like this can be very hurtful.”

David B. Bohl presents Here?s a Quick Way to Discover Your Passions (and have some fun at the same time) posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Life can be about passion. It’s about discovering what you like, as well as what you don’t like. You can passionately love something while at the same time hating something else. Find out what excites, motivates, inspires, and pleases you, as well as what doesn’t.”

Edith presents 7 Phrases Successful People Would Never Say posted at Edith Yeung.Com: Dream. Think. Act..

Anna presents Thinking Outside the Diamond posted at The Engaging Brand 

Carol Bentley presents The power of words. . . posted at Carol Bentley.

Warren Wong presents Why Your Thoughts Create Reality – Thought, Energy, and Matter posted at Personal Development for INTJs, saying, “Do you believe that your thoughts create reality? Here’s why thought, energy, and matter might not be as separate as you think.”

Tupelo Kenyon presents Ego or Soul? Who’s Driving? posted at Tupelo Kenyon, saying, “Even though I identify my sense of self with soul, there seems to be another “something” inside forever jockeying for position and making its presence known. This is the ego. What’s the difference? How can you know which one is in charge? What are their characteristics? Since I prefer peace to mayhem and contentment to perpetual, blind striving, my goal is to keep soul in”

Tina Su presents How to Motivate Yourself to Massive Action posted at Think Simple. Be Decisive..

SJ Yee presents How to live each day and get from where you are to where you want to go posted at Personal Development for the Book Smart.

Simon Stapleton presents Creating Positive Energy in Yourself (2) posted at COMMERCE-SAVVY.COM, saying, “How to invigorate and motivate yourself to have positive energy”

Talina Norris presents So how do you feel today? What are you waiting for? | Harvest of Daily Life posted at Harvest of Daily Life.

Pat Ruppel presents Footprints in the Sand – Footprints We Leave Behind posted at Plain Talk and Ordinary Wisdom.

taylorishere presents Dealing with Disappointment | Improv Lifestyle posted at Improv Lifestyle, saying, “Disappointment can be devastating. But you can overcome it by using the phrase “Yes, And”, and by taking action!”

isabella mori presents practical creativity posted at change therapy, saying, “not everyone can win a contest. but why not try and nominate someone for a consolation prize?”

Patricia presents How to Start Over: Rebuild or Just Remodel posted at Patricia.

Richard Ingersoll presents Integrating the Law of Attraction into Your Busy Schedule posted at Applying the Law of Attraction, saying, “Are you too busy to sit down and visualize for very long? Do you find that you can’t seem to get the focus necessary to really put in a good Law of Attraction practice session? You may be surprised to know that you can easily integrate your practices into your hectic schedule. Allow me to explain.”

Erika Wilson presents Choose Joy and Give Thanks posted at Royally Redeemed, saying, “Although it may not be easy at first, we have to choose joy on purpose. Joy is not something that will just hit us or just come over us. No, we have to purpose to have it. We have to purpose to choose to think good thoughts, happy thoughts, and uplifting thoughts that will produce joy. In addition, read Philipians 4:8.”

Alex Blackwell presents The Most Dangerous Word posted at The Next 45 Years.

Pat B. Doyle presents How We Can Find Healing in Nature posted at Barton Pond Feng Shui.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our carnival submission form.

Post from: Widows Quest