Grief is hard not only for us but also for those around us. I often get asked what people should do for someone who has lost a family member.
Time and a hug are always great gifts but do you know what I appreciated most? Shopping!
My best friends from childhood came round with a weekly shop, she looked at me and said “I bet it is the last thing on your mind and you need to stay healthy”
Wow, do you know it was wonderful as I couldn’t face shopping – all those people, all those small decisions to make and of …read more

Death has always scared me, as a child I just comprehend what happened. I think when people have died around me the fact that death scares me makes coping with their loss more difficult because I fear for them.
Last night I was watching Desperate Housewives and Edie died. She said something that stayed with me
“Its not hard to die when you know you have lived”
The reason why is that it reminded me of Dad dying. He said on his third to last day when I asked him if he had any regrets
“Why would I ? I have lived the most …read more

I have never been a person who is frightened, yet when you grieve the loss of a loved one, suddenly fears surface that you never imagine. Fear of being alone, of the future, of the dark, of socialising, of going out…..together we have to face the fear
F = Fear lessons when we break it down. We can say we are fearful of the future….then think about what specifically frightens you…the future is too general. Is it money, is it being alone, is it the odd jobs around the house! Then develop a plan of how you will cope with the …read more

I write a lot about friendship and the support of friends through the process of grief. I like this article at the Daily Record called The Power of Friendships which says
“When it comes to bereavement, women will have a strong source of support in her friends, while a man may have suffered a double bereavement, losing his wife and friend at the same time.”
Strong platonic friendships can be difficult to sustain, mainly because of other people’s perceptions of them.
“Most of us rarely stop to analyse our friendships, but knowing you have this bond with someone is an incredible source of …read more

Going from being in a couple, to being single is one of the hardest things. I smile as I remember those nights when I just wished that I had some time for myself, or he was irritating me for some silly reason. Now I have that time, I miss those irritating habits
Here are 5 ways that I try and beat the loneliness however, I would love your ideas

I read 2 books a week. I don’t read novels as they are too emotional for me. I read books that help me develop or historical accounts
I have joined the local …read more

I wrote about this on my other blog – The Engaging Brand but wanted to share it with you as well. When we grieve, when we lose people that we love, then we can all suffer from people not understanding or even family disputes happening when people forget the feelings of others. Let me share a story

Mum has a large garden. She is 78 and struggling to keep on top of the garden. I live 80 minutes drive away so I can only go back once a week/fortnight to help out. Anyway, this week gave me a strong lesson in …read more

In grief we talk about being heartbroken, what I want to suggest is that our heart is NOT broken, it is still capable of loving again, it is still beating to keep us alive. Maybe what we should say is that we are heart – cracked!
I often think that the words we use, don’t help us through our bereavement. If we believe it is broken then, we automatically think that there is no hope. There is hope, we have read stories on the blog of people who have found a new way of being happy, or even falling in love …read more

I remember arranging the funeral service and the array of emotions that flooded my body. I remember feeling completely stupid as I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do, I remember wishing I had a resource to turn to…well, I came across The Daily Undertaker blog, written by Patrick McNally who describes says 
“For me, funeral service is an opportunity to serve families and help them through a very difficult time. Funeral directors need to listen carefully and ask the right questions in order to meet the different needs of different families. Families place their trust in us to …read more

At the weekend I posted an emotional letter – Can Anyone Help a Widow? – from a reader whose parent is struggling to come to terms with her grief. I thought about this long and hard as I want to help. I think my suggestion would be writing to her mother. At the moment, her mother needs closure, she cannot see a way forward without her husband. I think I would write and say something like
Mum,
I want you to know how much you mean to me, how much I love you. At the moment I spend the day thinking about …read more

We know in our grief, that we have a huge heart – one that has loved and one that understands the meaning of love.
I think we need to dig deep into our hearts during our bereavement. We need to dig into the depth of our BIG heart – grief can make us shrivel from life, I know that I have felt that way! However, now I think it takes a big person with a big heart to cope with bereavement and use it to make the world a better place.
B = Be understanding that we were lucky to have loved, …read more