That sense of losing someone you love in front of your eyes. I know from my point of view, I feel a sense of grief – as daft as that sounds – at the loss of a beautiful young woman who brought such joy to so many.

I am hoping that her latest “stay” in hospital can help her, the sadness is that the world made her famous….now the world is causing her breakdown. For anyone who has lost someone from their life, they know the pain of losing someone…..I hope that the medics can help her find comfort, find herself again….bring the real Birtney Spears back to life…

A strange post in some ways, but I write it as I feel a sense of grief even though she is still alive and well. Grief for the loss of that vibrant singer, that the world loved….grief that as a world we can’t reach out and help her…..instead encouraging the paparazzi to hound her and add to the mental instability.  When you are used to hurt, all you want to do is to take away that hurt from others…as I can’t give her that hug in person, here is a virtual hug to someone who clearly needs our empathy at the moment. All the best Britney….dig in girl, find that strength to face your demons, find that strength to reach out for help to once again be the vibrant Britney in this photo…

Post from: Widows Quest

Oh, how desperately we seek to maintain control.

I still buy books on grief but now I have a rule – I don’t buy them very often, maybe two or three a year, and I don’t look for them to be anything more than a map to help guide the journey.  Even with a big library of books that should help, I still noticed that yesterday was the fourth anniversary of my husband’s funeral.  We need to be realistic about what we can expect from a book.

With that in mind, this month I bought a book called, “I Remember You.”  Although this is a grief journal, it is also a book about healing, rebuilding, redefining, and learning to let your past coexist with your present and future.  Laynee Gilbert, the author, says, “In this book, you can note your reflections of life and death, on faith and hope; you can dwell with whatever is on your mind and in your heart.”

Gilbert emphasizes a very important thing for anyone grieving, but for a young widow it is imperative to hear.  People do die – we can’t change that.  But relationships do not die.  Love crosses all boundaries, even those that exist between the veil of life and death.  Taking that as a starting point, the author has created a journal that not only guides the widow, in the here and now, but strengthens the relationship she had, and lost.  That isn’t to say, other relationships will not happen, but each person we love occupies a unique place within our life; this book honors the relationship recently lost and allows a person to move forward.  “Your loved one may be gone but the relationship lives on,” says Gilbert.

The vast majority of the pages in this book are for what I would call “interactive writing.”  There is space for letters, poems, song lyrics, and other writings that would be meaningful for the owner of this book.  The author suggests putting photos in as it seems appropriate.  Gilbert’s writing only covers a very few pages, leaving the rest of the book to the reader to finish writing.

“This journal can be a home for your experiences.  As you tell your story, your words will lead you on your own unique, personal passage through the healing process of grief.  As you give life to these pages, you will also be breathing life into your relationship with the one who has passed on.”

Four years after the death of my husband, I think the right book came into my life.  I think it is an excellent book for the widow who is ready not only to cope with her grief, but to work on redefining her life and remembering her husband in a very special way.

Post from: Widows Quest

The “Grief Journal” was given to me as a gift and it is one of the best things that came across my path of grief.  I had no idea where to even begin; my whole world was full of grief and I couldn’t think about anything but the pain of my loss.  But the “Grief Journal” asked the questions that needed asking.

This particular journal gets in underneath the emotionally loaded situation and talks with you.  It is an unusual quality in a book, and not often effective, but this book is a notable exception.  Somehow the author has found a way to talk to a person in grief and help them sort through the grief.

I hope, whether you are recently widowed, or your loss was years ago, that you will get a copy of this book.  It is an amazing tool for recovery and the first step toward rebuilding your life and reinventing yourself.

Post from: Widows Quest

In summary the film is about the inability of non-grieving people to understand the bereaved and to accept the possibility and power of After Death Communications (ADC).

Joe, played by Kevin Costner, loses his wife Emily early in the film. Shortly after her death he begins to experience electromagnetic phenomena and perhaps most amazingly, the appearance of dragonflies. Dragonflies were something very special to Emily. Joe comments that he had always had such a hard time finding dragonfly things to buy her as gifts and now they are everywhere. A mobile arrives that she had bought for their unborn baby, there is an “event” with her dragonfly paperweight and a real dragonfly approaches Joe’s window at night. Not a typical time for a dragonfly to be out.

The film progresses to a child in cardiac arrest psychically calling Joe. Jeffrey, the child, recounts a Near Death Experience (NDE) to Joe, recalling him looking down at Joe from the ceiling while efforts to revive him were in process. Jeffrey then claims he saw Emily in his NDE and he knows he is supposed to deliver a message of urgency to Joe but is unable to recall it. Jeffrey’s father calls all of this tall tales; meanwhile Jeffrey continues to sketch a symbol that he cannot explain.

Joe then encounters another child who has the same drawing as Jeffrey’s sketch. Joe begins to question if Emily is trying to contact him, while at the same time denying the possibility of that being a reality.

At a dinner at Joe’s father’s home, a grief counselor has been invited without Joe’s knowledge. She tells him that we need to talk to the deceased, they have no need to talk to us. She says that the living conjure up spirits and believe they are attempting to contact us. Despite Joe’s disbelief, which is beginning to waver, he brushes her off unconvinced either way.

Joe’s friend, Miriam, who is an attorney, tells him that his experiences are delusional. It’s time to move on. She encourages him to sell his house, Emily’s parrot and go on a vacation to get his “head straight.” Shortly after their conversation another dragonfly appears and Joe tells himself, “it is just a bug.”

The movie progresses with more experiences that Joe must face that force him to analyze what he believes. Does he believe that Emily is trying to contact him? He seeks out a nun who has done research into ADCs and NDEs and she explains to him that, “belief gets us there.” And so Joe steps out on the limb of faith and follows what he believes to now be the truth.

Despite some not-so-favorable reviews, I felt this film was excellent. It is written and directed well and it is one of Kevin Costner’s finest performances. For the person in grief or anyone who believes in or has experienced an After Death Communication, it is a must-see.
It is an absolute certainty that “Dragonfly” will leave anyone thinking about the after-life and what it may mean for people and how they live their lives.

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Post from: Widows Quest