Understanding emotional stages

Kami Huyse talks about the 4 emotional stages of crisis management although this is about public relations the discussion about the psychology can help widows.

Psychologists call the emotional stages of survivors the Four Phases of Disaster:

1. Heroic Phase: This phase usually occurs directly after the disaster, when heroic actions are taken to help people recover from and/or survive a disaster. The media may be just arriving on the scene or not yet arrived at this phase. I definitely went through this stage – I appeared fine, dealing with everything and the friends who came around. For some reason I felt I had to be strong!
2. Honeymoon Phase: In this phase people draw together to solve problems in an intense showing of community. Media interest is intense during this phase. This phase generally lasts from one week to six months.This represents to me that stage when everyone is ringing and making sure you are alright!

3. Disillusionment Phase: People begin to get a mentality of “everyone for himself” when delays and other issues common with disaster set in. About this time media interest begins to fade and blame is assigned. This phase could extend from two months to one or more years. We have all seen this when the calls drop off and people get tired of your bereavement – this is when I understood who were my true friends

4. Reconstruction Phase: People start to pull together again to get things done, delays in the process continue to garner negative feelings and reactions. The media may revisit the disaster at this time (one-year anniversaries, etc.) I think this is where I am now, trying to rebuild my life and learn to love and live again.