Understanding Guilt
September 20, 2006 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Guilt is something we all feel when we lose someone. We feel guilty that we are still alive, or guilty about enjoying ourselves. Guilt is a normal part of grief. Let me share a story…
Jane lost her husband and for the next few months she didn’t go out – she felt too guilty, she forgot how to smile – she felt too guilty, she survived the days – guilty of living.
One day her sister said to her “What did Jake enjoy?” Jane looked and said “He loved being out with his friends, having a drink and having a laugh”
“And what did he love about you?” Jane thought and said “My fun!”
”Then if you want to make Jake happy, if you want to feel Jake close, if you want to remember how to live as Jake would have wanted……learn to have some fun again. That is not forgetting about Jake it is about remembering him and honouring his memory”
Jane started to rebuild her life, and although everyday she thinks about her loss, she knows that nothing will bring him back. Nothing will fill that void. But life is short and so precious. For something so precious, it would be wrong to waste it……she now smiles, and knows that Jake would be smiling too at her living again.
