We all need to deal with pain, in grief

I remember when my best friend lost her brother – her mother who was usually a weak person went into overdrive and rallied the family until they had all coped with his death. I looked at her one day, I had arrived early to pick my friend up who was still getting ready.

She was crying and looked awful. This was 6 months after her son had died. I held her hand and asked “How come the grief is coming out now?”

She turned and said “The family is OK, I can grieve now. You know when you bury pain, it doesn’t decompose…it is still there and when uncovered it will come out. When there are others around you, you may have to delay that grief….but it is only a delay…each of us have to grieve eventually. Over the last few months my husband and family needed me to be strong, I’ve did that out of my deep love for them….now out of a love of my lost son, I need to grieve and have asked the family to help me. Out of their love for me, they will”

The words….”when you bury pain, it doesn’t decompose” have stayed with me. We all need to deal with that pain at some stage. There is no right or wrong time, there is only a time that is right for the individual.

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