What Not To Say
March 13, 2006 by Adelle Tilton
Filed under Grief
When people are confronted with a woman who is newly widowed (or even when it was several years ago), they have a hard time knowing what to say. Quite often, other people think the condition of “widowhood,” is contagious and they will avoid the new widow. There is an element of feeling, “If it can happen to you, it can happen to me.” If you are the friend of a woman who has lost her husband, try to slip away from that feeling.
This list from GriefWatch.com is very helpful in explaining what to say, and more importantly perhaps, what NOT to say. When in doubt, just be there and words aren’t necessary. But some words are the last thing a widow wants to hear.
This would have been an excellent list to have on hand when we miscarried our daughter.
People mean well, and sometimes they say the most unthinking things.
I am so sorry for your loss. How painful that must have been. Yes, they do mean well, but those comments sting, don’t they.