When slobbing and sobbing is the answer
April 3, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Loneliness, Guilt & Depression
This week I have had to be in three places at once, I have not slept more than five hours a night, my house is an absolute tip, money is tight and there is no one sat near me to hold me and say “Don’t worry I love you”
Now don’t worry I am OK, I just need an early night – I know there will be no problem sleeping tonight! – but earlier I just started to smile because when life seems as though it is out of control….sometimes the best thing is to take off the 
shoes, put on the TV, grab a coffee and just relax. All the problems will be there tomorrow but I will be fresh and ready to tidy the house and my mind.
I suppose I wanted to post this because often people think that you must keep going…..you know I believe that you must keep motivating yourself…but sometimes a night of slobbing, even a night of sobbing is the most wonderful release from the world of life…Don’t feel guilty just lie back and let the world disappear, let your batteries recharge and then get back up tomorrow to face your grief.
Boy, Anna, can I relate to what you wrote!! It is so important to give yourself permission to just do nothing. It recharges your batteries and gets you going. However, I think I have been doing a little to much “slobbing” and not enough working lately. I must get myself together this weekend. Sleep well tonight, Anna.
Oh, you made me smile about the fact that today I did almost nothing and started to read in bed a couple of times and simply fell asleep. It’s been a busy week for me too but I have been recovering from the week before when I had lots of anxiety attacks. It’s been 18 months since Don died and 30 years since I have had an anxiety attack! Luckily, my Dr was really helpful and they appear to be under control now.
It is so good to rest and not feel guilty about it.
Thanks for your message.
Cindy
Thanks Anna, it is nice to confirmation that our behavior is not odd or totally weird, two days this week I put on workout clothes and did some mild cardio and never got cleaned up other than washing my face and combing my hair, two days of internet game playing wondering from task to task and not really finishing anything…mindless, attempting to get occupied and keep the sadness away! I felt guilty when I realized that was two days lost but I guess it was what I needed …oh and the cardio…has done nothing to alleviate my love of food and the 30lbs I have added since he died! I will be so glad to see Spring really arrive (Snow tonight and tomorrow) and maybe get motivated to get out and improve my health…I know it is what he would have wanted and is down deep what I want…we shall see. Cindy and Anna…I kind of envy those busy weeks, I have too much time like Leslie to slobber and sob it seems…
Deb
Feeltotally alone too. It’s 2 years since my husband died. Have 3 kids all with their own problems, like normal kids. It doesn’t get easier for me, only lonier. ^Financial worries etc. dont help. Feel I must be more positive but doing everything alone is sad. Everything gets on top of me. Am in early 50s and knew my husband for 30 years. Life is so empty
Gosh we are really in this together aren’t we…I have put 20lbs on over the last couple of months as I have struggled with motivation. What I found last night was that I struggled to do nothing, I was so tired but yet I felt guilty slobbing… I think I may need to watch that I am not filling my days with work to hide the pain? I am so exhausted trying to make ends meet and I think that in some way i like it as I feel the pain less??
I have got a film for tomorrow – Sunday – and am going to try and just settle down and watch it.